


The Whole World is Watching

by SiriusRemusluvr



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Caretaking, Denial, Family, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secrets, Sexual Content, Sexual Violence, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:13:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1316158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiriusRemusluvr/pseuds/SiriusRemusluvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey gets hurt and the Gallagher family steps up to help him. (Many) People find out about Ian and Mickey and there are consequences for their actions. Future chapters will contain mature content such as descriptive violence and sexual content. Please read at own discretion. Thank you!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Shameless or any of the characters in this story. I am playing with them. I'm going to try to keep this as close to the show currently as I can and it may deviate really far from it but I believe this is a possible storyline that could happen because, honestly, it'd be easier to figure out what wasn't a plausible storyline when it comes to Shameless! Thanks and Enjoy!

“What the fuck?!” Fiona cried out when she heard the kitchen door slam open from her place on the couch in the living room. Of all the things she could have expected, Mickey Milkovich limping into the room was not one of them. Not even in her top 20. He was covered head to toe in blood and his face was almost unrecognizable. His eyes were swollen to the point where he could barely see and stumbled over a chair at the table, falling over onto the floor of the kitchen. Kev and V followed Fiona into the kitchen, Fiona muttering ‘shit’ as she went.

She immediately was on the floor next to him, turning him to his back as Kev moved the offending chair. “Mickey? Can you hear me?” Fiona yelled to him. He was losing consciousness fast.

“Lip?!” Fiona screamed. “V, get the kids upstairs. They don’t need to see this.”

Fiona normally wouldn’t freak out but there was so much blood. Lip and Ian came running down the stairs at the sound of their sister’s distressed voice.

“What the hell happened?” Lip asked. Ian was obviously the one to freak out.

“Mick?!”

“He’s barely breathing. What the hell do we do?” Fiona gasped out, lifting herself off the floor as Ian crashed down next to Mickey. Fiona was on the edge of a panic attack.

Ian immediately grasped Mickey’s face in his hands, not minding of the blood now on his hands. He lent down and listened for Mickey’s breath himself, not being able to keep the tears from slipping down his face at the sight of Mickey in such a state. It was faint but still there. Ian was so thankful in that moment. What the fuck happened? Did Terry do this? No, he was still in jail. His brothers? Did they find out about him and Mickey continuing their secret affair?

“Mickey, can you hear me? Please say something,” Ian fucking begged him.

Mickey cracked open one swollen eye, lifting his hand steadily to Ian’s face before smirking. “Firecrotch,” he whispered before losing consciousness.

“Fuck, Mickey,” Ian whispered back, not being able to keep the sobs inside.

“We need to get him cleaned up; see the extent of the damage,” Fiona said, keeping her distance. The last time this much blood was on this floor, Monica had slit her wrists.

Ian started taking Mickey’s clothes off as best he could right there on the kitchen floor. V held Mickey’s head right so it didn’t move too much with Ian’s frantic but careful pulls. Mickey wasn’t even wearing a jacket. Shirt, tank, shoes, socks, jeans. All were pulled off away from the deeply damaged body.

Ian let out a sob as more skin was revealed. The more skin he saw, the more damage was seen. Cuts, some deeper than other, and dark bruises littered the usually perfect pale skin. Ian kept Mickey’s boxers on, deciding he had to get him into the shower to wash some of the blood off. He looked at Lip in a silent plea, not being able to do anything by himself right now.

Lip moved to lift Mickey up from under his armpits and Ian grabbed his legs. V ran out the door to get her aid box while Kev and Fiona followed Ian and Lip up the stairs. They set him gently in the shower, Ian turning on the water of the shower right away. Before Lip could set Mickey down against the tub, he saw more damage on Mickey’s back.

“Ian,” he said softly, looking at his brother in what looked like heartbreak. Ian moved to where Lip was and looked at Mickey’s back as Lip held Mickey upright. In angry deep knife cuts across his back, it read “FAGGOT.”

Ian almost screamed out in the physical pain he felt. Lip set Mickey down gently, keeping his head up so he didn’t drown with the oncoming spray of the showerhead. Mickey was still unconscious and it scared Ian. As Fiona handed a bunch of washcloths to Lip, Ian removed Mickey’s boxers and this time Ian did scream.

Whoever did this to him obviously knew about Mickey’s darkest secret. They bruised and made small cuts onto Mickey’s dick, carving an “F” onto the shaft. No one needed to tell each other what it stood for.

Ian took washcloths from Lip and started at Mickey’s feet. Lip tried to help but Ian just shook his head. He needed to do this himself. He was the reason any of this happened in the first place. Ian got to Mickey’s lower abdomen before stripping out of his jeans and lifting Mickey up slightly so he could fit behind him.

Lip, Kev, Fiona and V looked at the scene with confusion and concern, Lip being the only one who knew about Mickey and Ian.

Ian held on to Mickey, feeling the letters on Mickey’s back pour blood onto Ian’s shirt. “I’m so fucking sorry, Mickey. So sorry,” he whispered into Mickey’s ear, hoping beyond hope Mickey could hear him. Ian still tried his best to clean Mickey’s wounds. Ian couldn’t help himself as he kissed the side of Mickey’s head, pressing his hand gently into Mickey’s stomach, making sure he was still breathing.

“Ian, we gotta get him warm, baby,” V said gently, coming to the side of the tub, putting her hand on Ian’s shoulder.

With one last kiss to Mickey’s head, Ian stood and got out of the tub, Lip helping to keep Mickey upright.

“Do you think we should take him to the hospital, V?” Fiona asked.

“No, he hates hospitals. He’ll kill himself before getting bad enough to end up there,” Ian said, not caring whatever V was going to say.

“Okay,” Fiona whispered, rubbing her hand on Ian’s back as Kev and Lip lifted Mickey out of the tub.

“Take him to my bed,” Ian said automatically.

~*~

Ian watched numbly as V dressed Mickey’s wounds, not having the energy to cry anymore. Lip told Carl to take Liam and to sleep in his room tonight before going downstairs and cleaning the kitchen floor so the kids didn’t see the blood.

“Is he gonna be okay, V?” Ian asked hesitantly.

V sighed. “The bleeding is under control. They are already trying to heal. He shouldn’t be moved too much. He probably has bruised ribs if not broken. He just needs to rest and when he wakes up, make him eat something and give him painkillers. It’s touch and go right now. We can only hope he gains consciousness by tomorrow morning. Just keep him comfortable and check on him frequently. I’ll come over in the morning to change the bandages.”

Ian let out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was even holding. “Thank you,” he whispered, not taking his eyes off of Mickey.

Ian looked at Fiona, not sure what to say to her. Fiona just patted his back sympathetically. “He’ll be okay as long as he stays here.”

Fiona folded her brother into a hug as tears started coming out of him again. Kev and V left soon after Mickey was as comfortable as he was going to get.

Ian was left alone in the room with Mickey, sitting on the floor with his hand covering Mickey’s and his head on Mickey’s thigh. “I swear whoever did this to you is dead as soon as you tell me who. I’m so sorry. Can’t even tell how much blood you lost because you’re so fucking pale to begin with,” Ian laughed watery. He face soon fell because Mickey didn’t say anything with his smartass remarks. “Fuck, Mickey. Please wake up. I’m done losing you. I can’t fucking do this life thing without you. I need you alive and biting my head off for some stupid comment I make. Like I love you, which you know I do. I know you love me too but please don’t leave me without telling me at least once. Don’t leave me at all. I love you, Mickey. Please wake up.”

Ian was sobbing so hard he couldn’t even talk anymore. The fingers he was holding twitched before they tightened around his hand. Ian looked up in shock. Mickey was still unconscious but Ian knew Mickey heard him.

Ian squeezed back gently, moving to his knees so he could be by Mickey’s ear. “I’m here, Mick. I’m not going anywhere.”

Ian kissed Mickey’s battered cheek before resuming his previous position and falling into a light sleep.

~*~

Fiona came downstairs as Lip finished cleaning the floor, moving to the chair that had smudges of Mickey’s blood from when he fell over it.

“How is he?” Lip asked.

Fiona shrugged. “Ian or Mickey?”

Lip shrugged back. “Horrible. Both of them. You wanna tell me what the hell that was up there?” Fiona asked.

Lip sighed. “It’s a long story but it all makes sense in a way. Go sit on the couch, I’ll get you a beer and try to tell you what I know.”

Fiona did as she was told, lighting a cigarette on the way to try to calm her shaking hands.

“Ian’s gay. We all know that. He was screwing his boss a couple years ago at the Kash and Grab and Mickey kept coming in and stealing shit. When Kash finally got the balls to get a gun, he didn’t even have the balls to fucking shoot it when he brandished it at Mickey. Mickey stole the gun and when Ian found out, the dumbass went to the Milkovich house and threatened Mickey with a tire iron to give it back. Apparently that’s when this whole thing with Ian and Mickey started. They had sex,” Lip said, taking a long drag on his cigarette and gauged Fiona’s reaction.

Her eyes got wide but didn’t say anything as she took a long gulp of her beer. Lip continued, “It became a routine for them. It just started happening whenever it could. Well, Kash caught them doing it at the store and shot Mickey because he was jealous. Mickey went to juvie and Ian visited him as often as he could without raising suspicion. When Mickey got out, they fell back into the same routine. Mickey landed himself back into juvie and Ian didn’t seem to care anymore. Apparently they had a big fight before Mickey went back in. When Mickey got out again, Ian was seeing Ned at the time but he and Mickey fell back into the same routine again.

“It’s more than just sex now. Ian fell in love with Mickey pretty quickly but because Mickey comes from a place where you’re only family if you don’t do stupid shit like be gay or whatever, Mickey tried to make Ian realize that nothing could come from what they already had.

“When we were put in the system by DCFS Ian snuck out to be with Mickey at the Milkovich house because everyone was out of town. Terry caught them the morning after and beat the shit out of both of them.”

“What the fuck?! Terry beat Ian? Our Ian?” Fiona asked in anger.

“Ian can take the physical blows compared to the mental issues Terry gave him after. Terry hired a hooker to fuck Mickey in front of Ian to prove he’s straight. Mickey wound up marrying the bitch because she was pregnant even though the kid probably isn’t even his. No doubt Terry made him do it. That’s why Ian enlisted early. He begged Mickey not to marry her but Mickey did anyway.”

“But Mickey’s gay?” Fiona asked, sounding doubtful.

Lip nodded noncommittally, “seems that way since he lets Ian stick it up his ass.”

“Ugh, God, Lip! I coulda lived without that image in my head! This is Mickey Milkovich we’re talking about. He beats guys up for even acting gay or what he deems as gay,” Fiona said incredulously.

“I’ve known pretty much since it started and I’m still just as shocked as you. But Ian loves him for some reason,” Lip said, shrugging his shoulders.

Fiona sighed, running a hand through her hair. “You know what this means?”

Lip furrowed his brow at his elder sister. “No.”

Fiona looked at him wearily, holding her head up by her hand. “Means he’s family. Means we will help him and protect him. Who do you think did that to him? Who else knew?”

“Terry knew but he’s in jail. Doesn’t mean he wasn’t involved, though. Mandy knows but she would never do that to Mickey. In some weird sort of way, they love each other,” Lip said, looking away in thought.

“Well, whatever happened, he’s here now and while he’s here, he’s safe. We’ll make sure of that,” Fiona said in a sigh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who liked this story! It is keeping me going and my muse is very happy!!

Lip went upstairs after his talk with Fiona to see Ian passed out in the most uncomfortable position but holding Mickey’s hand like a lifeline. Lip took out his phone and texted Mandy.

_Call me when you’re alone sometime tomorrow._

Lip put a blanket over Ian’s legs, noticing he never put his jeans back on. He leaned further to Mickey to make sure he was breathing. Mickey seemed to be breathing better than he did when they first laid him there. Lip climbed up into his old bed, Carl’s bed, and watched Ian and Mickey for a while before falling asleep.

~*~

At about 3am, Ian woke up suddenly, feeling the undeniable crick in his neck. He looked at his surroundings before his eyes rested on Mickey and remembered everything that happened a few hours ago. Only this time, Mickey was looking right back at him.

“Hey,” Mickey whispered hoarsely.

Ian’s eyes filled with tears and just nodded at Mickey, not being able to respond.

Mickey rolled his eyes as best he could when they were both swollen. “Fuck off, Firecrotch. I’m still alive.”

Ian gave him a small smile before noticing their hands were still intertwined. He moved Mickey’s hand to his lips and kissed him softly, ignoring Mickey’s huff of annoyance when he really knew Mickey was relieved to see him. Almost as much as Ian was relieved to hear Mickey’s voice, trying to act normal.

“Are you hungry? You need to eat something before I give you any painkillers,” Ian said, keeping his lips against Mickey’s hand.

Mickey just stared at him. Mickey wasn’t one to give a straight answer unless he’s biting your head off.

“I’ll bring you up something. You shouldn’t move too much. I’ll be right back,” Ian said with conviction. He saw a flash of panic in Mickey’s eyes so he leaned down when he stood up and kissed Mickey’s forehead lightly. “I’ll be right back. Nothing’s going to happen to you now.”

~*~

Ian came back upstairs with a plate of eggs with syrup poured over them just how he liked it (a/n: cuz that’s how I like them), a glass of water and four Aleve’s to make the pain bearable. Mickey took the plate carefully, very much aware of all the damage done to his body. Ian watched Mickey’s every move, trying to notice if Mickey gave away how much pain he actually was in. Mickey’s tough act was played extremely well and Ian wanted to know.

“How you feeling, Mick?” Ian whispered.

Mickey swallowed slowly, everything hurting everywhere. “I’m alive.”

“That’s not what I asked you.”

Mickey sighed in annoyance. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t fucking hurting. If I’d of known-“ Mickey caught himself before he said too much.

Ian furrowed his brow. “Known what, Mickey?”

“Nothing, Firecrotch. Stop babying me. I’m gonna be fine. Just have to rest for a couple days and be careful for a while. Who fixed me up?”

“Veronica. When we cleaned your cuts in the shower, she and Kev bandaged you up. She’s coming back in the morning to change them. You lost a lot of blood. It was all over,” Ian whispered brokenly, going back to earlier that night.

Mickey grabbed Ian’s hand in a surprisingly intimate gesture while looking him in the eye. “Hey. I’m fine now. Forget about that. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m here and I’m fine. God knows you’d have made an overprotective mother in another life.”

Ian smiled at that. Mickey was trying to calm him down and keep him here in the present. Ian’s smile faltered, though. “Mick, who did that to you?”

Mickey took his hand off Ian’s and looked at his plate, not responding.

Ian sighed exasperated. “Whoever it was knows about you. The proof is on your back and even on your dick, Mickey. Tell me who did this to you?”

“Just drop it, Ian. I’m too tired for this shit,” Mickey said, popping the pills into his mouth and draining his water glass. Mickey refused to look Ian in the eye. Mickey slowly moved to lay facing the wall he put himself against. Ian just stared at him. Granted, Ian’s bed wasn’t big at all but why would Mickey move all the way against the wall.

Ian continued to watch him for a few minutes before jumping at Mickey’s voice. “Are you just gonna sit there all night or are you gonna get up here, Firecrotch?”

Ian looked at Mickey’s back in shock. Was he offering Ian a chance to sleep beside him in the same bed? They hadn’t done that in any other way than drunk since Ian slept over at Mickey’s. “You serious?”

“Either get up here or sleep on the damn floor. Just shut up whatever you do,” Mickey said in his voice that sounded agitated but wasn’t really. Ian smiled softly before climbing into his bed beside Mickey carefully. Ian lay facing Mickey’s back but kept his distance, not wanting to accidentally hurt him. Just before falling asleep, Ian felt Mickey’s form shuffle back to touch Ian’s and reach for Ian’s hand before curling it around his back.

Both fell into a peaceful, as much as it could be, sleep surrounded by warmth and relief.

~*~

The early morning was met with an uncomfortable silence. Lip got the little kids up and off to school before heading to the library with Liam. Fiona was on her third cup of coffee by the time V came in through the kitchen door.

“Hey, Fi,” V said, holding her very pregnant belly with one hand and her aid kit in the other.

“Hey,” Fiona responded distantly.

“How’s he doing?”

“Still sleeping in Ian’s bed. He seemed to be better; his breathing seemed normal when I went in there to check on him,” Fiona responded before biting her lip and sighing. “Wanna hear something totally weird and unbelievable?”

Fiona knew she could trust V; she wouldn’t tell anyone about anything even if you didn’t tell her she couldn’t.

“What, Fi? You look like a ghost,” V commented, feeling her friend’s forehead in concern.

“No, it’s about Mickey.”

“Oh, okay.”

Fiona took a deep breath and leaned into V more so she could whisper and still be heard. “Mickey and Ian are a...thing.”

V just stared at her, her eyes widening. “What do you mean a ‘thing?’”

“I mean that apparently he and Ian have been fucking for a couple years now,” Fiona said.

V’s eyes widened marginally. “You serious?”

“Lip told me everything he knew last night after you guys left. Crazy, isn’t it? Mickey Milkovich and my little brother.”

V looked away in thought before responding. “Does explain why “faggot” is scarred on his back. Do you think Terry found out?”

Fiona rubbed her eyes. “He found out when I was fighting to become guardian of the kids and Ian and Lip were in the home. Apparently Ian snuck out and spent the night with Mickey and Terry found them. Terry made Mickey marry that Russian hooker. But Terry’s in jail right now. He didn’t physically do it but that doesn’t mean he’s not involved.”

“Damn, hun. And I didn’t think this house could get stranger than last night,” V said, smirking small.

“Yeah, right? When I went in there this morning, Ian was on the bed with Mickey, spooning him. I mean, what the fuck? This is Mickey Milkovich, son of the homophobic, fag-beating, hateful, woman-hitting asshole known as Terry Milkovich. This is not normal whatsoever. Then again, nothing has ever been normal when it comes to this fucking shithole,” Fiona laughed. “Do you wanna change his bandages now or wait till he gets up? Might not be for a while considering what we went through last night.”

“Should probably do it now so his bandages don’t seep through to the bed. Or your brother for that matter,” V said, shaking her head as she made the comment, not really ready to believe it.

They went upstairs as quietly as they could and entered the room. If V didn’t see it for herself, there would always be a doubt in Fiona’s words. “Shit, girl. You weren’t lying,” she whispered to Fiona.

Ian and Mickey were still in the same position they fell asleep in if not even closer. V put her hand on Ian’s shoulder and moved it slowly up and down his arm to wake him up.

Ian woke with a start at the unfamiliar touch but when he opened his eyes, he saw Mickey’s back of the head and immediately calmed, leaning into him so he could kiss his shoulder. V tried to not look shocked but failed miserably.

“Ian?” V said softly.

Ian turned to face her, surprised he didn’t notice another person in the room.

“I need to change his bandages or they might get infected. Can you wake him up please?”

Ian nodded before turning back to Mickey. He ran his hand through Mickey’s hair and whispered, “Mickey, wake up. We need to change your bandages.”

Mickey groaned in his sleep. “Fuck off, Firecrotch,” he mumbled.

“Firecrotch?” V said before she could stop herself.

Mickey almost flew into the wall, not expecting anyone other than Ian. He immediately regretted his quick movements and almost yelled out in pain. V immediately came by him, too close in his opinion.

“Honey, you can’t move like that. You’ll reopen all your wounds before they even have a chance to heal. Lie on your stomach so I can get the worst ones changed first,” V said, helping him move slowly. Ian watched in awe as Mickey didn’t fight her or give her any smartass remarks. He must be in serious pain.

V took off the bandages covering his back first. She wanted to get the letters over with as soon as possible. It was honestly the most revolting thing she had ever seen. As she predicted, he reopened those wounds and they began to trickle blood off his side. Ian grabbed a nearby t-shirt and caught any before it fell onto the sheets of the bed. Mickey hissed and swore as V cleaned and redressed his wounds. It fucking hurt but he didn’t say anything directly towards her. She didn’t have to do this for him, none of them had to. When she was done with his back and his front, she faltered at his lower abdomen.

“Um, Mickey? You were cut below your boxers and I totally understand if you’d rather someone else redid that one but it’s your call,” V said softly.

“Just get it over with,” Mickey said gruffly. He was exhausted already and he didn’t have the energy to fight with her.

“Okay,” she responded in a whisper before removing his boxers and getting back to work. She was almost startled when Mickey spoke to her.

“I don’t have anything to repay you with for this.”

She smiled at him even though he refused to meet her eyes. “It’s okay, baby. Consider this an act of charity so that maybe I’ll have an easy delivery.”

Mickey just nodded, looking at Ian right in the eyes so he didn’t have to focus on what was happening down there. Ian just smiled small at him, trying to hide his horror to Mickey’s mutilation.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who had commented and left a kudos for me! It is truly making my muse the happiest thing and keeps it writing. Enjoy!

When V left for a doctor’s appointment, Fiona made Ian take a shower, promising him she’d stay with Mickey. He reluctantly left the room.

“I don’t need fucking babysat,” Mickey complained.

“I know you don’t but Ian will not leave your side unless he knows someone is here if you need anything. Are you hungry? Want some coffee?” Fiona asked from her place at the end of the bed.

Mickey looked out the window when he responded. “Sure. Coffee sounds great.”

“Any food? We don’t have much but I can make you something like canned noddle soup or a macaroni salad sandwich,” Fiona offered.

“Soup’s good,” Mickey said, still not looking at her.

“Okay,” Fiona said softly before leaving the room. When she returned with Mickey’s breakfast, she heard him curse softly. She entered the room to find Mickey trying to stand up.

She hurriedly set the tray down on the drawer before going to him. “Mickey, what the hell are you doing? You shouldn’t be trying to walk around yet. You could agitate your cuts,” Fiona said, helping him get back into bed gently. He huffed in frustration but allowed her help with secret relief.

When Mickey was situated, Fiona handed his tray to him. “You need to be careful. Ian will never forgive you if you hurt yourself trying to do shit you can’t do yet.”

“The fuck should I care if he never forgives me?” Mickey muttered, blowing on his coffee.

Fiona rolled her eyes. “Because he loves you and besides Mandy, he’s the only person to love you unconditionally. Why else would he go through all the pain just to get away from you after you got married?”

Mickey stopped lifting his coffee midway to his mouth and stared at her like a goldfish. “The fuck you talking about?”

“Cut the façade, Mickey,” Fiona said quietly but giving him a dangerous look. “I know everything. Ian didn’t say a word to me but it was kind of obvious how much he cares about you when he was crying over your bloody body last night.”

Mickey didn’t say anything but couldn’t look Fiona in the eye.

Fiona sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “I know it’s hard to admit anything to yourself, let alone someone else. But I can see how much Ian cares about you. And you obviously care about him since you dragged your ass back here for him in your state.”

Mickey finally looked at her, shocked she was being so nice to him but also honest.

“I know you’ll never shout it from the rooftops but you need to give Ian something to hold on to if you really care about him. He deserves that much. Maybe if you tell him once in a while that you care about him, it’d be enough for him to stay. Please don’t make my brother go again,” Fiona whispered the last sentence before Ian entered the room in just a towel.

She patted Mickey’s leg softly. “If you need anything just yell.”

And she left.

Ian shut the door softly before rummaging for clothes to put on, not noticing Mickey watching his every move. Mickey watched him in fascination but also in confusion and worry. What Fiona said to him was echoing in his head so loudly he wished he could just shut her up.

“What?”

Mickey forgot he was staring at Ian until he spoke up. “Nothin’.”

“Do you need more pain killers? V left some here for you to take when you needed them.”

“Maybe later. Kinda numb right now,” Mickey stated gruffly. He watched Ian get dressed closely. He knew that a body like Ian’s should be appreciated instead of just ogled at. He definitely appreciated the view.

“Fuck!” Mickey shouted, grabbing his crotch in pain. Ian was at his side in a flash.

“What’s wrong, Mick?”

Mickey, embarrassed, just shook his head. “Can’t even fucking get a hard-on without my skin trying to fucking separate itself,” he muttered in pain but Ian heard him.

Ian smirked a bit before getting dressed as quick as he could. “Shouldn’t be tempting you. I’ll wear long-sleeved everything so you don’t ogle my hot body too much.”

Mickey laughed and rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, man. There’s two things wrong with that theory, though. One, anything you wear is too tight regardless of any skin showing. Two, I do not ogle your body. It’s called appreciating,” Mickey said, looking at his coffee rather than at Ian.

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

Mickey rolled his eyes and played his tongue against his lower lip. “No. Ogling is just looking at a body and thinking ‘I’d fuck the shit outta that.’ Appreciating is looking at a body and noticing its flaws but loving it all the same. You care about the person the body belongs to,” he said, looking anywhere but at Ian. He was trying to take Fiona’s advice because he knew she was right.

Ian looked at Mickey in shock. Did Mickey really just say that? “Wait, did you just admit you care about me?”

Mickey sighed in agitation. “You’re really more fucking stupid than I thought,” he muttered, looking straight ahead instead of in Ian’s direction.

Ian was kneeling at Mickey’s side before he carefully took Mickey’s face in his hands, forcing Mickey to look at him. Mickey didn’t want to fight him anymore so he let Ian touch him. Ian looked into Mickey’s eyes for a moment before leaning in to kiss Mickey softly on the lips.

Mickey closed his eyes and sighed in relief as Ian’s lips touched his. He didn’t push Ian away but didn’t lean into him. He reciprocated as best he could without moving. Ian pulled away before anything could escalate into something it couldn’t. Mickey kept his eyes closed as Ian pulled away but still stayed close, looking at Mickey’s face. Even though Mickey looked like we went through a food processor, Ian couldn’t have loved his face any more than he did in that moment. Mickey finally admitted that he cared about Ian without using trick words that Ian would need to decipher.

“I love you,” Ian whispered before kissing Mickey again. Mickey’s breath caught in his throat but didn’t push Ian away or yell at him for being such a fag. He eased into the kiss and put his hand on the back of Ian’s head to deepen it but Ian pulled away suddenly.

“The fuck, Gallagher?” Mickey asked but not with as much irritation as he might have in a different situation.

Ian smiled a little sadly. “Can’t risk you getting hurt.”

“I’m not made of fucking glass,” Mickey bit out at him, more than a little frustrated.

Ian responded, “I know you’re not but you’ve been through a lot and your body’s reaction will be anything but pleasurable or do you not remember five minutes ago?”

Mickey flipped him off before settling down flat on the bed, smirking. “Fucking tired,” he mumbled, already half asleep.

Ian nodded and kissed the side of his head before watching Mickey fall into the sweet bliss called sleep.

~*~

Fiona was watching TV when Ian came downstairs. She looked at him in concern. “Hey, is he okay?”

Ian nodded solemnly. “Yeah. He’s sleeping now.”

Ian sat down next to Fiona on the couch, sighing as he did. “Are you okay?” Fiona asked him.

Ian thought for a minute before answering. “He won’t tell me who did it but I feel better that he’s still acting like himself for the most part. I’m guessing Lip told you what’s been going on.”

“Yeah, for the past two years you’ve been fuck buddies with Mickey Milkovich. Of all the people in the world, he’s the last one I’d expect for you,” Fiona said, smiling to let Ian know she wasn’t being mean or anything.

He smiled back at her. “Yeah, I know. But...I love him, Fi. Always have. Him getting married didn’t change that. He obviously doesn’t love her. I know he loves me.”

“Has he ever told you he loves you?” Fiona couldn’t help but ask.

“...no, not really in those words but I know he does. He’s different with me. Doesn’t have as many shields up.”

Fiona leaned her head on Ian’s shoulder. “Well, if you love him, he’s more than welcome to stay here. We’ll take care of him. If he means that much to you, he’s safe here.”

Ian smiled and leaned his head on top of hers. “Thanks, Fi. Means a lot to me,” he whispered. They stayed like that a long time until Fiona heard Ian’s breathing even out and knew he fell asleep. Fiona let her mind wander to the conversation she had with Mickey and hoped he took her words seriously. Even if she didn’t know about him and Ian until yesterday, she knew her little brother. He deserved to be with someone who wasn’t afraid to love him. Mickey needed to learn to do that for Ian or he was gonna lose him. And Fiona didn’t want to lose her little brother again because of Mickey. No one was worth losing her family over. She learned that after Jimmy pretty damn quickly.

~*~

Mickey woke up in the early afternoon to see Lip sitting on the bottom bunk bed reading a book that looked like it was for school. Lip heard Mickey stirring and stood up, coming closer to the bed.

“Hey,” Lip said, watching Mickey carefully. Mickey just stared at him, trying not to focus on the pain he was feeling. “You need anything?”

“Where’s Ian?” Mickey managed to get out.

Lip felt himself physically relax. It was weird but comforting knowing that the first thing that Mickey thought of when Lip asked him if he needed anything was Ian. “He fell asleep on the couch downstairs. Want me to get you some painkillers and wake Ian up?”

“I could use the painkillers but don’t need you to wake him up. Probably needs as much sleep as I do,” Mickey said, his voice tight with pain.

“Okay, be back in a minute,” Lip said, leaving the room to collect the painkillers and some water.

When he returned, Mickey hadn’t moved an inch but his face was screwed up in obvious pain. He handed Mickey the pills and watched as Mickey down the glass of water without stopping to take a breath. “You, uh, you sure you don’t want me to get Ian?”

“Yeah, man. It’s fine,” Mickey said after finishing his water.

“You want more water?”

“Nah, but I need to piss,” Mickey replied, not looking at Lip.

Lip went to the side of the bed and offered his hand. “I can help get you there.”

“Why the fuck are all of you being so fucking nice to me?” Mickey said incredulously.

“Because if we weren’t, Ian would be all pissed off at us. And you need it even if you won’t admit it,” Lip told him, already lifting Mickey up by his arm gently. Mickey huffed but let Lip help him.

Mickey was a proud person, Lip knew. The fact that he wasn’t fighting Lip much while he helped him move onto his legs was a miracle in itself.

When Lip made sure Mickey was in the bathroom safely, he wasn’t surprised when Mickey told him to fuck off and that he could do this part himself. Lip chuckled and waited outside the bathroom door for Mickey to finish. Lip walked Mickey back to the bed and made sure he was settled.

“Ya want something to read or anything?” Lip asked, knowing Mickey must have been bored out of his fucking mind.

“Nah but I could use a cigarette,” Mickey said, his nicotine-withdrawal making him more antsy.

Lip handed him a cigarette with a lighter and then walked back to the bunk beds to finish his reading for school. Mickey watched him closely as he enjoyed the cigarette in his hand before looking out the window. He jumped when he heard a phone go off.

Lip looked down at his phone and said to Mickey, “gotta take this. Holler if you need something. Fiona’s still downstairs.” And he left the room to answer the call, leaving Mickey alone and still very bored.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey,” Lip said into his cell phone when he was outside the house.

 

“You said to call you when I was alone. What’s up?” Mandy Milkovich responded.

 

“I need you to meet me somewhere private. I’ve got some questions and I don’t wanna risk anyone else hearing,” Lip said, walking down the sidewalk in the direction of the Milkovich house.

 

“Well, we can go to my work and talk there,” Mandy offered.

 

“Needs to be somewhere away from the Southside. Can’t risk anything.”

 

Mandy thought for a moment before it dawned on her. She told Lip to meet her in one of the many abandoned buildings on the edge of town. No one would be there. She remembered finding Mickey there all the time when Ian left for the army, knowing he was mourning in his own way and would do nothing more than just sit beside him and share a joint or a bottle of vodka with him.

 

When she made it there, Lip was already there, smoking a cigarette and looking tired.

 

“Hey,” Mandy said, standing in the doorway, not knowing what else to do.

 

“Hey,” Lip said back, looking at her as if he was examining her.

 

“Why’d you wanna meet? Everything okay with school?”

 

Lip exhaled slowly. “Yeah, everything’s okay with school. I wanted to talk to you about Mickey.”

 

Mandy looked confused. “What about him?”

 

“Do you know where he is?”

 

“No,” Mandy said, shaking her head. “He was still at the Alibi when I left for work yesterday. I came home late and he wasn’t there. Why? He owe you money or some shit?”

 

Lip sighed and scratched the side of his head. “Terry still in jail?”

 

“Yeah. Why the fuck are you asking me about my goddamn family?” Mandy said, getting frustrated.

 

Lip bit the inside of his cheek, trying to carefully word his next statement. “I know you are not capable of doing this to Mickey, but he was beat up pretty bad last night,” Lip said, looking at Mandy to gauge her reaction.

 

“Probably pissed someone off like he usually does,” Mandy responded, rolling her eyes.

 

Lip held his hands in the air. “No, Mandy. Whoever did this to him was seriously trying to kill him. I don’t know how he did it but he came to my house last night covered head to toe in blood. Someone carved faggot into his back and an F on his dick. They tried to kill him because they know about him and Ian. Is there any chance that anyone else knows besides you and Terry in your family?”

 

Mandy looked at Lip in shock and immediate concern. “Is he okay?” she responded, ignoring Lip’s question.

 

Lip sighed, “he seems to be doing better than last night but he can barely do anything himself. He’s not even fighting us that much when we help him out. _That’s_ how _bad_ it is.”

 

“Fuck,” Mandy said under her breath, telling herself that she wouldn’t shed any tears for Mickey because he wouldn’t want that. He wouldn’t want sympathy. Especially not from her. “My other brothers don’t know about Mickey. I didn’t even know Terry knew.”

 

“He beat the shit outta Mickey and Ian when he caught them and made Mickey marry that Russian chick to keep him and Ian away from each other. But seriously, Mandy, someone wanted him dead or close to if his back and dick are any indication. I knew you wouldn’t have done this to him. But I need you to not tell _anyone_ about Mickey. Not even his wife. No one can know he’s over my house. If someone wanted him dead for being gay, they’ll know he was with Ian and maybe come after my brother. But he won’t be alone like Mickey was,” Lip told her, looking straight into her eyes.

 

“I wanna see him,” Mandy said.

 

Lip sighed. “He doesn’t know I told you and he won’t say who did it to him. Ian asked him and Mickey brushed him off. If he thinks you’re involved, he won’t want to see you. He needs to recover. He can’t even walk by himself.”

 

“I don’t care. He’s my brother. I would have never called a hit on him just because he’s gay. I wanna see him now.”

 

~*~

 

When Ian woke up, he noticed right away something was off. He took in his surroundings before realizing that he wasn’t in his own room: where Mickey was. Ian almost fell twice running up the stairs and into his room. He was less than quiet. Ian’s eyes immediately fell on Mickey who was startled awake by Ian’s rambunctious entrance.

 

“The fuck, Ian? Is the goddamn house on fire?” Mickey groaned, having fallen into a deep sleep what seemed like only moments ago.

 

Ian let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and just stared at Mickey. “Have you been alone all this time?”

 

“Nah, your brother was here when I woke up and helped me get up to piss and gave me a cig, which is something I really want right now,” Mickey said, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands.

 

Ian gave him the pack lying on the bottom bunk bed and a lighter just to keep him occupied. “You want anything else?”

 

Mickey shook his head. “I want these damn bandages off. The one on my dick is irritating my fucking balls,” Mickey muttered, just needing to complain about his position.

 

Ian wanted to smile and maybe he would have if he didn’t know the extent of Mickey’s injuries. “Mick, you need to tell me who did this to you,” he said, staring seriously at Mickey.

 

Mickey fidgeted a little bit. “I don’t _need_ to tell you anything, Gallagher. And I don’t fucking remember anyway so shut the fuck up about it. I’d think that the main priority was me getting better in your eyes cuz you’re a fag like that.”

 

Ian studied him a little while before smiling genuinely at Mickey. “You’re loving this. You are basking in the fact that I care about you and that my family cares enough about me to help you out. Secretly, you are loving this.”

 

Mickey let out a sigh, relieved that Ian dropped the subject of who inflicted such horrible injuries on him and instead focused on his last statement. “Whatever, asshole. I hate being tired all the fucking time and then nothing to do when I wake up. I can’t fucking do anything by myself.”

 

Ian sat on the bed next to Mickey, facing him and took Mickey’s hand in his, tracing the tattoos on his fingers. “Yeah, I bet. But I’m glad that you’re here, even if you are a cripple at the moment.”

 

Ian laughed when Mickey smacked him upside the head with little fire behind it. It should have always been like this for them: so easy to just be in each other’s presence. And sex was not even an option so they would have nothing to do besides talk and maybe get to know each other a little better.

 

“Stop looking at me like that, Ian,” Mickey muttered, not meeting Ian’s gaze.

 

Ian was genuinely confused. “Like what?”

 

Mickey huffed a breath of air before replying, still not looking back at Ian. “Like you’re in fucking love with me. Stop acting like a fucking fag for once.”

 

Ian knew this was just Mickey’s way of closing off himself. Ian took Mickey’s face in his palm and turned Mickey to him. He kissed Mickey’s lips softly. Ian lingered there for a moment before pulling away and looking in Mickey’s eyes for a bit. He whispered against Mickey’s lips, “you know I’m in love with you. Just waiting for you to realize it for yourself. You mean everything to me and if that’s being too gay for you, suck it up. Because it’s how I feel and you’d better get used to it because you can’t run away until your wounds heal.”

 

Before Mickey could respond, Lip and his sister entered the room. Ian backed his head away from Mickey and looked at the semi-unwanted guests.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Mickey. You look like shit,” Mandy said, coming to the side of the bed and looking Mickey up and down.

 

“The fuck are you doing here?” Mickey said, clearly pissed off and looking daggers at Lip.

 

“If you think for one moment that I would be involved with something like this when my best friend is gay, then you really are as stupid as everyone else thinks,” Mandy said in a strict voice. “Regardless, you are my brother and if someone tried to fucking kill you, I have a right to at least see if you’re okay for myself. At least you’re acting fucking normal.”

 

“Whatever, bitch. I’m fine and alive. Now get the fuck outta here,” Mickey said, looking out the window.

 

“Nope. I brought you some stuff from home. I got some of your clothes in here,” she dropped a backpack onto the bed beside Mickey’s hip. “There’s also more bandages and painkillers in there along with smokes and some food to help make it all better. Just like Mama used to.”

 

Mickey didn’t say anything but looked into the backpack before setting it down on the floor beside the bed. “Cunt.”

 

Mandy smiled. “Love you, too, Mickey. You need anything, you can text me. I changed your name in my phone in case someone else sees it. I’m not gonna press you for the fucking asshole that did this cuz I’m pretty sure you want your own revenge but you won’t go alone or else I’ll cut your fucking dick off and make you eat it raw.”

 

Before Mickey could say anything, she stole a kiss to his cheek and fled the Gallagher home in less than three seconds. Ian looked at Mickey’s shocked face before he began laughing so hard, tears were coming out of his eyes. Mickey pushed Ian off the bed but Ian just continued to laugh. Mickey rolled his eyes and lit another cigarette, ignoring the amused looks he was getting from the Gallagher brothers.

 

When Ian resurfaced more complacent than before, he looked through the backpack. “She must have spent some serious money. She got a load of fucking bandages and pills. Oh! You’ll be excited about this!” Ian exclaimed, waving a Snickers bar in front of Mickey’s face.

 

Lip watched in amusement as he lounged on the bunk bed. Mickey wanted to punch Ian for being such an ass but snatched the candy bar from Ian’s hand, ignoring the redhead when he barked out a laugh.

 

Fiona came up then and stood in the doorway, watching the three boys. “Sounds like fun up here.”

 

Ian looked at Fiona then picked the backpack up. “Mandy came by and got Mickey more bandages and pills so we can stop mooching off of V’s aid kit. You think she’ll come by and change his bandages again so I can do it without having to bother her? She’s gonna pop any day now and then we’ll be screwed if we do it wrong,” Ian asked Fiona.

 

“She’s coming back in a few hours to change the bandages. She said they are trying to heal and that’s good progress. I’m sure she’ll show you how to do it so she doesn’t have to climb up all these steps. Anything we don’t use by the time he’s healed we’ll give to her, though, as a thank you. Okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Mickey was the one to respond, making everyone look at him in mild shock. He ignored them and continued to enjoy his candy. He’d never admit it but he was thankful for Mandy knowing him so well. He knew he loved her in his own way that was fucked up because of their upbringing but when it came to her, he’d kill. But that’s all. No one needed to tell him “awe, that’s cute” because it’s not. Mandy, besides Ian, which he’ll still not ever admit to, was someone he cared a lot about and he didn’t feel the need to explain himself. It was his business and his alone.

 

“Lemme just make sure you’re not bleeding through to the bed,” Fiona said, coming closer to Mickey and motioning him to sit up so she could look at his back. Mickey let her, not in any place to fight her. He was seriously fucked up because his first instinct was to tell her to fuck off when she offered to help. But he surprised himself at being able to go with his second instinct, which was to obey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has commented and favorite/followed this story! I feel the love! WHO ELSE WAS GETTING THE WTF LOOKS FROM THEIR PARENTS BECAUSE OF SCREAMING TO 4x11!!! So happy!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of the amazing season finale, I have uploaded chapter 5! Lots of love! 
> 
> WARNING: This chapter contains explicit violence that includes sexual violence, cutting/carving and “gay-bashing.” I am apologizing in advance because I know some people may get offended by it. If it is not something you want to read, then just skip everything in italics. Once again, this is a horrible chapter but I have to add it because of the storyline and this is only part of what happened to Mickey, bear in mind that there will be more to piece it all together. Believe me, I had no more fun writing it than you do reading it. Thank you!

Mickey was dreaming. He rarely dreamed and when he did, he either dreamed about memories of his mom or of Ian before shit hit the fan. But this was different. This was a different memory.

 

::==::

 

_Mickey entered the Milkovich home to find it empty. Not really surprising when his brothers were on the run, Terry in jail and Mandy supposedly at work. Without looking around, Mickey goes straight for his bedroom, the one he shared with his fucking wife and began to take clothes out of the drawers. He stuffed what he could grab quickly before moving to the bathroom. He wanted to get out of this house and back to Ian as soon as possible. Being with Ian was the only thing that felt completely normal and right ever since all the shit went down all those months ago._

_Mickey was gathering necessities from the bathroom when he heard the Milkovich front door open. Thinking it was Mandy, he called out to her. “Just picking up some of my shit. You’ll have this hellhole to yourself in—“_

_Mickey was walking out of the bathroom when he was hit over the head with a blunt object. He drops to the floor with his head pounding and his vision blackening out temporarily. He heard numerous footsteps and knew whoever was attacking him wasn’t alone. He tried to get up but one asshole sat on Mickey’s back and held a knife to his face while another held his legs down. The person straddling his back had their knees on his arms so he couldn’t move them. Whoever these people were obviously had enough force to pin Mickey down and make him immobile._

_“Fucking faggot. Going to see your queer boyfriend?” the one holding the knife said in Mickey’s ear before slicing a cut into his right cheek._

_Mickey grunted from the pain and tried to struggle free but his attempts were futile. They had him down too fucking well. Next thing Mickey knows is that he is being stripped of his clothing and with more skin being revealed, more knife wounds were covering his body. They weren’t too deep but enough that it made him hiss and grunt with every swing of the fucking blade. He could feel the blood from each wound slowly ooze out of his body and onto the wooden floor of the hallway._

_Mickey then felt his arms being twisted back and they tied his wrists together so tight he felt like it was cutting off any circulation. When his attackers got him totally naked, they began to slowly sodomize him with the knife. Mickey had never screamed so much in his life but it only lasted three or five minutes before they tired of that and pulled him roughly to his feet._

_They said profanities into his ear and tried to make him say it back but Mickey refused to. Every time he refused, a deeper cut was made where many others were covering his body at this point. Mickey was pushed roughly onto a wooden chair and his ankles were then tied just as tightly as his wrists to the legs of the chair._

_They pushed his upper body forward until he was at a ninety-degree angle. “You did this to yourself, you fucking dicklover,” the one behind him whispered before digging a knife hard into Mickey’s left shoulder blade and slowly carved down before moving to the top of the wound and making a perpendicular cut that was just as deep._

_Mickey screamed out in pain, his vision blurring in and out. He couldn’t stop screaming and just thinking about Ian._

::==::

Mickey woke up suddenly to Ian looming over him with a hand on his shoulder. It took Mickey a moment to gather his bearings and realize he wasn’t in the Milkovich living room but in the Gallagher home, in Ian’s bed. Safe.

 

“Are you okay?” Ian whispered. “You almost woke Liam with your screaming.”

 

Mickey just stared at Ian. He was still processing everything and he just wanted to forget about it. About the pain.

 

“Mick? Shit, what happened?” Ian whispered more worriedly now. Mickey didn’t even realize he had tears running down his face until Ian swore. Without thinking about his injuries, he lifted on hand to the back of Ian’s neck and forced him down to his mouth. The kiss was anything but soft but it was one of the most passionate they had ever had.

 

Ian gave up the struggle after a few moments, knowing Mickey needed it. Mickey did not instigate many of the few kisses they shared so Ian was not about to be one to argue. He kissed Mickey back with ardor, deepening the kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance until Mickey hissed and pulled away.

 

Mickey’s left hand went down to his crotch as he breathed through the pain. Ian didn’t feel like laughing this time.

 

“Are you okay?” Ian repeated, meaning more than just Mickey’s physical pain from his cock straining against the bandage and wound.

 

Mickey took a couple more deep breaths before looking at Ian. “’M fine.”

 

Ian sighed a little in frustration. “No you’re not, Mick. Were you having a nightmare before?”

 

Mickey said nothing but looked away from Ian, not being able to stand the worry and compassion any longer. He turned back onto his side, away from Ian and just looked at the wall, waiting for Ian to give up and go back to sleep.

 

Ian just stared at him for what seemed like hours before he sighed. “Mickey, you don’t have to tell me right now but I’m pretty sure you were dreaming about what happened. You kept screaming out in pain and it scared the shit out of me. You need to tell me what happened eventually. I’m not gonna want you less because of it. But you need to give me something here, open up a little for me. I love you and I’m not going anywhere. Try to get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”

 

Ian kissed Mickey’s right temple before curling behind him and holding him. He fell into an uneasy sleep after a while but Mickey wouldn’t sleep. He didn’t want to fall back into that and relive what happened on top of worrying Ian any more than he already was.

 

~*~

 

When morning came, Fiona came in and got the kids up for school. She noticed that Mickey was awake. “Hey, you want me to get you some coffee?”

 

Mickey was sitting up on the bed while Ian was hanging off the bed on his back. He nodded and when she left, he went back to watching Ian sleep. Tonight would be the first night that Ian wouldn’t be here with him. Ian had to go back to work in order to help the family out with finances. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On one hand, not having Ian around meant that he wouldn’t be breathing down Mickey’s neck – both figuratively and literally – but on the other, Ian wouldn’t be here to make Mickey, even though he wouldn’t admit it, feel just that more safe.

 

He tried to push that thought from his head and just looked at the redhead asleep. Mickey knew that Ian was being so careful with him and it fucking bothered him. He didn’t want Ian to do that. He wanted Ian to be pushing the boundaries like he always has but no, Ian was treating him similar to glass.

 

With this thought in mind, he pushed Ian off the bed so he sprawled out on the floor. Ian’s look of sleepy shock made Mickey laugh so hard that he was clutching his stomach. Ian looked up at the older man with a look between annoyance and awe. Annoyed because he was woken up in one of the worst ways possible. Awe because Mickey was actually laughing and smiling. Ian knew that if he commented on the latter it would make Mickey stop.

 

“Thanks for the oh-so kind wake-up call, bastard,” Ian told him, still sprawled out on the floor. Mickey just gave him a toothy grin with his tongue in between his teeth.

 

“’bout time you got up, Firecrotch. Your snoring was about to make the roof fall on us,” Mickey told him.

 

Ian got up from his place on the floor and pushed Mickey’s head with little force. Mickey just kept on smiling and chuckling at Ian.

 

“Need to piss?” Ian said as he put on sweatpants and offering his hand to Mickey. Mickey took the hand and noticed that Ian wasn’t helping him push himself up. He was making Mickey do it and that made Mickey feel a little bit less than glass.

 

Ian helped Mickey to the bathroom and told him that he was going downstairs to bring something up for them. Ian was met at the bottom of the stairs to Fiona handing him two cups of coffee.

 

“Make Mickey take a shower so he doesn’t start stinking up the place. I’ll bring you guys something for breakfast when you’re done.”

 

Ian looked gratefully at his sister before heading back up the stairs. He was halfway up before Fiona’s voice made him stop.

 

“And no funny business! These walls are thin and that is not something I wanna hear this early in the morning.”

 

Ian laughed and continued up the stairs. He knocked on the bathroom door and waited for Mickey to say it was okay to come in. Mickey was sitting on the closed toilet seat, looking eagerly at the coffee cup Ian held in his hand. Ian handed Mickey one of the cups and set to get the shower going.

 

“You need to shower, Mick. It’ll make you feel ten times better, I promise,” Ian said by way of an explanation.

 

Mickey rolled his eyes but as long as he had his coffee, he wouldn’t fight too much. “So, what? You gonna shower with me? Could we get any more gayer?”

 

Ian smiled and took off his own shirt. “We could get a lot gayer than showering together so you don’t keel over and kill yourself on the side of the tub. But we won’t until you’re better,” Ian told him somewhat sternly even though all he wanted to do was bend Mickey over and fuck him into oblivion.

 

Mickey smirked. “Whatever you say, Firecrotch.”

 

When the shower was at an agreeable temperature, Ian helped Mickey get undressed and took all the bandages off gently, trying not to irritate them. He would never get used to seeing the scar on his back and wondered if he would ever be able to bend Mickey over again without feeling that horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 

When Mickey was totally naked, Ian followed suit and stepped into the shower, holding his hand out for Mickey again. Mickey noticed again that Ian was just making sure he didn’t fall but still made Mickey lift himself. Mickey was met with the spray in his face and choked on the water going up his nose.

 

Ian laughed before setting to get Mickey washed. Ian had to try to control himself so that Mickey didn’t find out just how turned on he was making Ian feel. Mickey just let the water soak his body, just feeling it made him feel better and that’s when he knew he was standing on his own. Ian wasn’t holding onto him in anyway. This little accomplishment made Mickey feel a little giddy although he would hide it from Ian. He felt Ian’s hands on his body and it was oddly relaxing. Ian washed him thoroughly, making sure to wash all the abrasions with care, attempting to not reopen any of them.

 

When Mickey’s back side of his body was washed, Ian turned Mickey around to face him so he could get Mickey’s front, trying not to react to Mickey naked and in his total control. He washed Mickey’s hair first and as that was rinsing, he immediately went to work on Mickey’s torso. Mickey was watching Ian with suck forceful desire it was hard not to get hard. But without the bandage, it was less painful. He still wouldn’t be able to jack off anytime soon but at least that fucking appendage still worked considering what it went through.

 

Ian tried not to notice the look he saw in Mickey’s eyes but couldn’t help his physical response to it. Ian knelt on the floor of the tub and continued to wash Mickey’s legs, noticing how well Mickey was keeping himself balanced on his own. It had only been a couple days since the incident but it was good progress. Ian didn’t know how he even made it to his house in his condition, considering Mickey can’t walk alone from the bedroom to the bathroom without feeling dizzy and in pain.

 

But Mickey’s hard cock in his face wasn’t doing anything to help Ian’s situation. He could see the angry red “ **F** ” on the shaft and knew that it had to be hurting Mickey when standing like this. Ian washed it quickly and carefully before moving to Mickey’s other leg, ignoring Mickey’s soft groans that didn’t seem like they were 100% in pain. Ian couldn’t hide the fact he was really turned on when he stood up, trying not to look down into Mickey’s eyes. What surprised him was when Mickey lifted his hands to Ian’s face and made Ian lower himself so their lips could touch.

 

It was surprisingly soft and sensual, something Ian never thought he would feel with Mickey. Mickey made Ian lose himself in his kiss and he groaned when Mickey deepened it but the pace did not change. How could Ian ever doubt Mickey’s feelings for him when Mickey did shit like this? Ian felt the tip of his own hard cock touch Mickey’s lower stomach and made to break away but Mickey wouldn’t let him. Mickey held Ian tight to him, moving his right hand slowly down Ian’s body before brushing against Ian’s cock.

 

Ian groaned into Mickey’s mouth and tried once again to pull away but any struggle he gave was futile against Mickey. When Mickey grasped Ian’s cock in his hand, Ian let out a strangled moan and turned his head, breaking the kiss. He started panting as Mickey started working his hand up and down at a tortuously slow pace. Mickey moved his lips to Ian’s neck while his other hand was on Ian’s back, holding him just that much closer. Mickey’s hand picked up pace a little as Ian continued to groan softly into Mickey’s ear. The sensation Mickey was making Ian feel by stroking his cock and kissing the sensitive part where his neck met his shoulder was completely mesmerizing and just fucking amazing.

 

“M-Mick, stop. We can’t,” Ian tried to say but groaned when Mickey tightened his hold on Ian’s cock and sped up at the same time. Ian grasped Mickey’s wet body tightly and couldn’t help himself, giving Mickey his own kisses along the older man’s neck.

 

Mickey pushed Ian away a little and got carefully down on his knees, ignoring Ian’s feeble protests. He looked straight up into Ian’s eyes as he closed his mouth around Ian’s tip. Ian almost called out, the sensation becoming too much. Mickey’s left hand grasped Ian’s ass and pushed Ian’s dick further into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks and sucking hard.

 

Ian’s hands were now on Mickey’s head and shoulder for support as Mickey expertly sucked him off. He couldn’t deny that Mickey was the best head-giver Ian had ever experienced. Mickey sucked hard and could feel Ian start to buck his hips, signaling his impending orgasm.

 

Mickey worked furiously trying to get Ian off quickly because his knees were starting to hurt and also, though he’d never admit it, he wanted to taste his Firecrotch’s cum on his tongue. He loved giving Ian head but only on his terms and no one else needed to know that. It was no one else’s business but his and Ian’s. Mickey would never tell him he loved sucking Ian’s cock but the fact he’s doing it right now doesn’t mean the opposite. And he tried to convey that in his actions right now in the small fucking shower.

 

“Fuck, Mickey. I’m gonna cum,” Ian groaned out, trying to pull himself off of Mickey’s mouth but Mickey tightened his hold on Ian and sucked harder if it were even possible. Mickey felt Ian stiffen and he was rewarded with his name being called out and a rush of hot liquid entering his mouth. Mickey sucked down everything Ian had to offer and didn’t stop until Ian stopped trembling so bad. Mickey, with effort, pulled himself up and was standing in front of a breathless Ian and smirked. He knew he did a good job; Ian’s face said it all.

 

Ian looked into Mickey’s eyes before grabbing Mickey and kissing him roughly, tasting himself in Mickey’s mouth. Mickey turned them around so Ian’s back was hit with the spray of water. Without breaking the kiss, Mickey blindly searched for the wash gel to at least wash Ian’s hair. Other than the blowjob, Mickey was showing his gratitude by reciprocating the care he had been receiving since he got here to Ian. Mickey broke the kiss to tip Ian’s head back and get it soaked before running his fingers through it with the soap and ignored Ian’s surprised expression as he set about washing the taller man’s hair.

 

Times like this were few and far between. Maybe Mickey being here would change that.

 

Hopefully.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update! I had a 10 page paper due today and focused mostly on that this past week. Thank you guys so much for your continued support. Some sexy time for all of your wonderful comments and kudos! Love all!

Fiona brought breakfast up for the two boys and ignored how long the shower had taken only giving Ian a glare for not heeding her advice. Mickey was staring out the window, noticing how bright it was with all the snow still on the ground. Ian watched Mickey with interest, wondering what happened to make Mickey act the way he did in the shower. Mickey wasn’t one to show gratitude let alone do something without being able to benefit. Ian had offered silently to help Mickey out but Mickey shook his head, smiling grimly before they exited the shower and got dressed.

 

Mickey was back to being somber and he realized that the exertions he put his body through this morning was more tiring than he thought it would be. He was just glad to be able to stand on his own two feet even if he couldn’t step very far without falling over. Ian refused to leave Mickey’s side before he had to go to work.

 

“Stop staring at me, ass,” Mickey muttered without looking at Ian.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Mickey huffed out irritably. “Stop asking me that. I’m sick of people asking me if I’m okay. Just shut the fuck up,” he said tiredly, with little to no venom in his words.

 

Ian just sat up from the headboard and looked at Mickey until Mickey started to squirm. Mickey gave up and looked at Ian like he wanted to punch him.

 

“Don’t hide things from me, Mick. If you’re hurting, I wanna know so I can get you pills to take. If you’re hungry, I wanna know so I can get you something to eat. If you’re thirsty, need a cigarette or a piss I wanna fucking know so I can help you. I’m not doing it because I want you to feel dependent on me. I do it because I want to and I don’t want you to hurt yourself in the process,” Ian said, ignoring the way Mickey’s jaw twitched like it did when he wanted to hurt something.

 

“Can’t you just for once, accept what is happening without trying to bite my head off? It’s hard enough I have to see you like this; don’t make it harder on me by pretending you can’t stand me sometimes. If I’m bothering you, ask me to leave and I will to give you space. But you don’t fucking get it. What I saw the night you came here is the only thing I see when I close my eyes and to have to here and fucking alive makes it worth it. But I can’t stand when you shut yourself off from me. This time it’s different, Mickey. You’re not the only one calling the shots and you can’t make me do something I don’t wanna do like before. I love you and want to be with you but only if you could at least admit it to yourself,” Ian said, not knowing where he rant was coming from but knowing he needed to say it. Maybe it was that after the wonderful time they had in the shower and all of the sudden Mickey was closing himself off again.

 

Mickey laughed mirthlessly. “You know what, Ian, I have fucking admitted it to my fucking self. On top of that, I admitted it to your fucking friend at the loft party. I shouldn’t have had to say it to you. I’ve fucking done everything I fucking could to make you see that. Admitting it to you would fucking kill me because if someone like my dad or my brothers finds out about it this time, I can’t promise I’ll be able to protect you. Right now, I can’t even fucking get up by myself. Why can’t you just read between the lines for once,” Mickey said, getting really tired of fighting with Ian about something so fucking stupid.

 

“Mickey, I don’t need your protection. I need your assurance that this isn’t something just to get back at fate for what’s happened. Why can’t you say just once that you fucking love me? That you want to be with me? I know you do when shit like what happened in the shower happens but then you turn into this brooding asshole and it makes me think how can you be so bipolar when it comes to me,” Ian said, knowing he should just drop it but he can’t. He hates it when they get like this because it seems that this dominates their relationship and that’s not something he wants.

 

“Ian, I’m fucking tired. I’m done with this conversation. Get the fuck away from me,” Mickey whispered with his eyes closed and his brows knitted together. He didn’t open them until Ian left the room without another word.

 

Yeah, this was a great way to fucking send Ian off to work. Mickey just turned his body onto his side and tried to fall asleep, ignoring the wetness he felt in his eyes.

 

~*~

 

When Mickey woke up again from probably the worst sleep he’s had since his wedding night, Fiona was sitting on Liam’s bed starting at him.

 

“The fuck you want?” Mickey said, his voice still laced with sleep but held nothing more than irritation. Irritation that wasn’t towards the oldest Gallagher.

 

“I heard your fight with Ian. I’ve been up here since he left for work. I need to check your bandages and see if they need changed or not,” Fiona replied, her voice tight.

 

Mickey slowly got up into a sitting position and tried to take his shirt off but his skin stretching to do so was irritating the injuries. Fiona got up and helped him without saying a word and checked most of his wounds before deciding that the bandages did not need changing at the moment. Fiona leaned back and sat on the bed facing Mickey.

 

“You haven’t eaten anything since this morning. All we have is oatmeal, really,” Fiona told him.

 

Mickey shook his head. “Not hungry.”

 

Fiona looked at him in silence for a couple more moments before sighing and put her head in her hands. “I thought you and I had an understanding when it came to Ian,” she said.

 

Mickey just looked at her and decided to not be the ass he really wanted to be in that moment. “We do.”

 

She looked up at him then. “Then why did Ian leave for work early with the most upset look on his face? I heard your voices from downstairs and I know that wasn’t just a conversation. He was screaming at you.”

 

“He expects more than I can give him. He doesn’t get what will happen if I told him what he wants to hear,” Mickey said, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands.

 

“Mickey, it would make him the happiest person to hear you say how you feel about him. I know he knows it but knowing it and actually hearing it are two completely different things. I don’t want you to say anything you don’t mean because that would hurt him more than he’s hurting now. You guys have had years to figure out what it is that you are to each other. After everything that’s happened, he just wants you to tell him that he means something to you,” Fiona tried to explain the best she could.

 

“You don’t fucking know anything about us. I shouldn’t have to say anything for him to fucking know it. If he was as smart as I know he is, then he could read between the fucking lines and just hold onto that. As long as we are here of all places, I can’t be what he wants me to be. I can’t say what he wants me to say because I don’t want the next time something like this happens to be him, all beaten and bloody with fucking scars that will never heal,” Mickey said, letting out his frustration and becoming even more frustrated that he told this to Ian’s sister.

 

Fiona looked at him in mild shock before schooling her features and slowly replies. “Mickey, Ian doesn’t understand why you’re protective of him. He doesn’t believe that what happened to you will happen again, let alone to him. You guys just need to fucking sit down and talk, not scream, about this. It’s not like you’re likely to go anywhere anytime soon. Ian is a hardheaded person. He only really hears what he expects and what he expects from you is denial. So automatically he decides that that’s what he’s gonna hear from you.”

 

“He needs to grow a fucking pair. Not everything is black and fucking white. Why can’t you Gallaghers leave your fucking emotions and shit at the door? You are all slaves to it,” Mickey said defiantly, not afraid of the big sister.

 

Fiona laughed at that, surprising Mickey. “I think you’re right about us being slaves but Mickey? If we are slaves, what are you? You are the complete opposite and if being slaves isn’t healthy, then so is that.”

 

Fiona got up to leave but stopped in the doorway. She turned to Mickey who just looked up at her. “By the way, I think you would know better than anyone that my brother has balls,” she said, running out the door before Mickey could throw something at her.

 

After the initial shock and anger, Mickey allowed himself a small chuckle at Fiona.

 

~*~

When Ian got home from work, he immediately moved to the shower, wanting to clean the make-up and bar smell away. While showering, Ian remembered his earlier shower with Mickey. Ian grinned at that until he remembered what happened afterwards. Ian groaned, hitting his head against the wall softly. Why does he have to keep pressuring Mickey into stuff he’s obviously not ready for? The man’s just been beaten up and is in the process of healing for fuck’s sake.

 

Ian vaguely wondered if Mickey hated him right now. Ian knows he has to be patient with Mickey and should be focusing solely on Mickey getting better.

 

Turning off the shower, Ian dried off in the bathroom before wrapping the towel around his hips and walked into his room. He saw Mickey immediately and felt relieved. Just seeing him made Ian feel an overpowering feeling that was threatening to drown him. He stood at the side of the bed and looked down at his – well, his Mickey.

 

“We still fighting?” asked Mickey with his eyes still closed, making Ian jump.

 

“Jesus! Thought you were asleep,” Ian said in a hushed voice, aware of his brothers sleeping not three feet away. Once Ian regained his composure, he sat down on the bed facing Mickey and replied, “I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t be pushing you.”

 

Mickey opened his eyes and watched Ian as he spoke. “Nah, man. I’m sorry. By now I should be able to tell you that you matter to me. I’m sorry I make you think you’re shit to me, ‘cause you’re not.”

 

Ian masked his surprised at Mickey’s apology and just smiled small. “Then we are in agreement that we’re both fuck-ups but at least we’re still here. How were you after I left?”

 

“Good. You’re younger brother helped me stand when he got home from school and I walked by myself. Slowly, but I did it without him helping keep me up.”

 

“That’s great, Mick! You hurting at all?” Ian was very proud of Mickey and knew that Mickey was proud of himself but wanted to downplay it; not make it seem like it was the best thing in the fucking world. Didn’t want Mickey to feel like a child.

 

“Just my back but nothing I can’t handle. How was work? Blow any of your pruned old fruits?”

 

Ian laughed. “Nah, only blow one guy and he’s nowhere near being pruned. Or a fruit as you so delicately put it. I’m gonna get changed before I fall asleep like this,” Ian replied, gesturing to his towel clad body.

 

“Damn. And here I thought I was gonna get lucky,” Mickey smirked.

 

Ian smiled. “One, not until you’re completely better. And two, not with my brothers in the room.”

 

“My ass isn’t broken, Firecrotch. And your brothers sleep like the fucking dead. Come on! I’m dying here,” Mickey groaned in quiet frustration.

 

“Okay, but you won’t even be able to cum or anything. You’re dick is still injured and getting a hard on is painful enough for you,” Ian said, trying to make Mickey see that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Mickey.

 

“You know I’m just gonna rebut everything you say. My dick’s getting used to that particular pain and if you just blow me after you cum, it shouldn’t be that difficult to get the job done.”

 

Mickey could see Ian contemplate it and he jumped at his chance. He sat up and pulled Ian close to him, looking into his eyes. “ _Fuck. Me._ ”

 

Ian groaned softly before crushing his lips to Mickey’s, immediately plundering his mouth with his tongue and feeling Mickey reciprocate just as fiercely. Ian wanted this; he wanted Mickey and knew he shouldn’t, considering the circumstances but he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. Everything was right with Mickey. Ian couldn’t remember why he’d ever look for this in someone else. No one was like Mickey.

 

Suddenly, the brutal kiss changed. Mickey ran the fingers on his left hand through Ian’s hair while his other hand pulled the mostly naked man closer to him, practically on him.

 

But the kiss – Mickey kissed Ian with a tenderness that pleasantly surprised Ian. He sensuously worked his tongue over Ian’s and his fingers played softly at the nape of his neck. Ian kept up with Mickey, letting him set the pace and not wanting to make a wrong move or hurt Mickey accidentally. Mickey groaned low in his throat, running his hands down Ian’s sides. He broke away only to breathe out “why the fuck did we wait so long to fucking do this?”

 

Ian chuckled softly. “’Cause that was then and this is now. Right now, you are mine.”

 

Ian then crushed his lips back to Mickey’s as he slowly began to undress his hoodlum lover. They had to be slow so as to not make too much noise that could warrant an unwanted audience. Soon enough, not in Mickey’s thoughts, they were both naked. Ian tried to not take a pitying look as more of Mickey’s wounds were revealed once more. Knowing that time was of the essence, but not caring, Ian trailed his lips down Mickey’s body. He was sure to lightly kiss the slowly but surely healing injuries sustained to Mickey’s pale skin. Mickey wasn’t sure if he wanted Ian to stop loving him with kisses to the forever reminders of what he’s gone through for this boy or to urge him to keep going, to keep healing him with his mouth. Mickey refused to say anything like that because that was just way too gay for him but showing Ian wouldn’t be too far gone for him, he thought.

 

Mickey wasn’t sure whether to groan in want so Ian would continue kissing his body like that when Ian pulled away or to moan knowing what would be coming next. Ian reached under his bed for the lube he had been keeping there since Mickey stormed into his room after realizing he had left Mickey’s house. He watched Mickey intently as he poured some lube out onto his right hand fingers. Mickey looked up at Ian with a dazed look, knowing it had been way too long since Ian fucked him.

 

They both knew that doing this in the missionary position was the only way. Mickey didn’t want Ian to see his back as much as Ian didn’t want to. Maybe with time it would get easier. Ian pretty much avoided Mickey’s scarred dick, much to Mickey’s annoyance and understanding. They would get passed this because it was what they both wanted.

 

Ian pressed his slick fingers against Mickey’s opening and slowly entered on finger. Mickey tensed at first but when Ian started moving, all thoughts left Mickey save for this moment. Ian surprised Mickey with a second finger and his mouth closing around Mickey’s tip. Mickey let out a harsh breath so he wouldn’t moan too loudly. They were used to having to be quiet from past fuck sessions but all Mickey wanted to do was scream for Ian, knowing that it would drive Ian insane.

 

When Ian stopped, Mickey let out a low growl in protest before watching Ian lube his own cock and position it against Mickey’s ass. Before Ian could push forward, Mickey reached up and grabbed Ian by the back of the neck and pulled him down for a harsh but loving, as much loving as Mickey could be capable of, kiss. Ian groaned softly into Mickey’s mouth before surging forward slowly. Ian watched Mickey’s face as he delved deeper and deeper into the older man until he was in Mickey as deep as he could ever be.

 

Mickey groaned, releasing Ian’s lips and looking down at their connected bodies. “Fuck, Ian,” Mickey moaned, quietly.

 

Ian smirked before he started moving slowly, making sure the bed didn’t squeak and wake up unwanted persons. He was amazed every single time how tight Mickey was around his cock. He would never tire of this, of Mickey.

 

With Mickey moaning quietly beneath him, Ian could feel himself getting harder, making Mickey feel tighter around him. This is what fucking heaven is like. A meteor could hit his bedroom right now and he would die a happy man. He hoped Mickey felt the same.

 

Mickey risked opening his eyes and is drawn right to Ian’s. Once the gaze was locked, it couldn’t be broken. Mickey didn’t even want to look away. Ian made Mickey feel so much in his chest he feared it may burst. He looked up at the man he loved and felt a sense of completeness that he had never felt before. Mickey’s wounds on his back were starting to irritate with the growing pace of Ian’s thrusts but Mickey ignored them. Nothing mattered right now other than the man inside him, fucking him into the bed beneath.

 

“Fucking Christ, Ian. Right there,” Mickey whispered, gasping when Ian hit his prostate with practiced precision. Ian groaned softly, loving the way his real name fell suddenly so easily from Mickey’s lips, especially when it is said laced with lust. Ian leaned down and kissed Mickey’s open mouth vigorously.

 

Mickey kissed Ian back just as fiercely, one hand on the back of Ian’s head and the other digging into Ian’s back, effectively holding him in place. Ian started pounding into Mickey as hard as he could without making too much noise, feeling himself getting close.

 

Mickey broke away from Ian, grunting softly as Ian continued to pound into him, hitting his prostate every time. Mickey could feel his orgasm rising. “Ian, I’m gonna cum. Don’t stop,” he said against Ian’s cheek.

 

Ian was surprised that Mickey was this close and there was no interaction with Mickey’s cock at all. Ian sat up slightly and grabbed Mickey’s hips, thrusting faster, wanting make Mickey cum with just his cock inside him. “Cum for me, Mick. Wanna feel you cum on my cock,” Ian told him and it had the desired affect.

 

Mickey writhed underneath him as he came all over his own chest. “Fuck, _Ian_ ,” he moaned breathlessly. Ian pounded relentlessly into Mickey, hearing his name fall from Mickey’s lips spurring him on.

 

Mickey sat up on his elbows and pulled Ian down to his lips, crushing them together in a fury of tongues and teeth. Ian’s hips began to stutter as his orgasm peaked. Mickey didn’t let him pull away and continued to kiss Ian through Ian’s orgasm. Ian rocked deeply into Mickey a few more times before completely stopping, making Mickey lie back down without ever breaking the connection between their lips.

 

This felt right. This felt like home. And goddamn if anyone was going to try to ruin it for them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long long long wait! So much shit has happened. To re-cap if anyone is interested: school finals, holidays, job searching/getting/losing and repeat. The most major thing was that I had to put my 14 year old shih-tzu down the day before easter and I am still having a rough time dealing with it. Her name was Ruby and she was perfect. I hope you can all forgive me but after that, my life has been put on hold and I can't do much of anything without vigor anymore. Thank you all so much for your continued support. You have no idea how much it means to me!

A couple weeks have gone by since Mickey landed on the kitchen floor covered in his own blood. Mickey was back to normal, or as normal as a Milkovich could be. Mandy came over to see him when she could, and frequently talked to him on the phone when she couldn’t. She tried her own subtle ways to tell Mickey that if he was going after the bastard who did this, he was not allowed to go alone. Ian continued working evenings but Mickey hated that. He did not want Ian to go anywhere by himself. Mickey’s greatest fear is that Ian could be next and that death was the next step in getting to Mickey.

 

Mickey hated to admit it even if it was only to himself. Ian was Mickey’s weakness. If anything happened to Ian, Mickey would not be able to live with himself. Mickey had honestly not left the house since his incident and refused to leave when asked to go somewhere, even if it was with Ian. Mickey was making himself useful anyway. He watched Liam when the other kids were in school and Fiona was working. Mickey kind of liked the smallest Gallagher. And Liam seemed to like Mickey just fine.

 

Mickey was cleaning up lunch while Liam colored in the other room. Ian was still sleeping upstairs and Mickey was thinking about going to wake him up when Kev came in through the kitchen door.

 

“Hey, man. How you doing?” Kev asked, a friendly smile on his face.

 

Mickey shrugged. “Fine, you?”

 

Kev was a little surprised to have Mickey return the sentiment but masked it well. “Great. The girls are awesome when they aren’t screaming their heads off. Just came by to give you this weeks profits from upstairs.”

 

“Thanks, man.”

 

Kev watched Mickey closely, seeming to go over what he wanted to say in his head before he said it. “So, uh, when you gonna come by? See for yourself how it’s going?”

 

Mickey stopped what he was doing for only a short second before resuming. “Soon.”

 

“Alright, man. I’m gonna head down there now. Come by for a drink at least. Bring Ian. See ya,” Kev said and was out the door before Mickey could say anything.

 

Ian came down the stairs as the door shut, yawning as he did. “Who’s that?”

 

“Just Kev with the money from the rub n’ tug,” Mickey said, not looking up from where he was wiping down the counter.

 

“Well, this is very domestic of you,” Ian said, coming behind Mickey and wrapping his arms around Mickey’s waist and lips against his neck.

 

Mickey faltered for a moment before pushing against Ian to move away. “Your little brother’s in the next room,” Mickey huffed out before trying to step past Ian.

 

“So?” Ian said, catching Mickey by the waist again and pulling him to his chest. “He’s busy coloring.”

 

Before Mickey could make out his witty comment he had prepared in his head, Ian swooped down and pressed his lips against Mickey’s. Mickey tried to pull away, not wanting Liam, or anyone, to witness this but Ian’s grip was strong and Mickey was tired of fighting Ian off.

 

He wanted this with Ian. All the time. Every single day for the rest of his life. But it can’t happen. Not while they were stuck in the shithole called Southside Chicago with everyone in the hood knowing their names and being the homophobes they were. Ian felt the change in Mickey as Mickey started to reciprocate his kiss and melted into Mickey. Finally, Ian thought, Mickey understood. Mickey was beginning to let himself _feel_ instead of always trying to protect or think he’s protecting someone by pretending that they were nothing and this was nothing.

 

Mickey pushed Ian back until Ian was pinned between the refrigerator and Mickey’s body. Mickey kissed Ian slow and deep, wanting to convey how he felt whenever Ian was around. Safe to say: Ian got the message.

 

Ian turned them so Mickey was pushed roughly against the refrigerator. Mickey looked up at Ian, their mouths hovering closely. Their breaths mingled with one another as they stared at each other. Mickey could no doubt see the love in Ian’s eyes and it both irked and inspired him. Mickey crushed their lips together, grasping the back of Ian’s neck forcefully. The old Mickey would never admit that he lived for moments like this with Ian. But the new Mickey, post-getting-beat-up-regardless-of-his-denying-being-involved-with-another-man, wants to shout it from the fucking rooftops if it would make Ian smile.

 

Ian pulled away from Mickey’s lips only to attach his own to Mickey’s neck. Mickey groaned softly, pulling on Ian’s hair.

 

“Maybe-mmm-we should put the little guy...down for nap early,” Mickey offered, trying not to just give in to Ian and let him fuck him against the kitchen countertop with his little brother just feet away.

 

Ian murmured his assent but continued his assault on Mickey’s neck. Mickey almost lost himself in Ian again before coming to his senses and pushing Ian back a little. Ian looked positively smug as he gazed at Mickey’s rustled clothing and red lips, all caused by him. Ian motioned his head to the living room, silently telling Mickey “well, get on with it then.”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes and flipped him off before entering the living room and scooping Liam up in his arms. “Gonna take an early nap today, buddy. Me and your brother have some unfinished business to take care of,” Mickey said, giving Ian a look as he passed him in the kitchen. Ian just laughed and watched Mickey play daddy—trying not to think of Mickey actually being a dad to the whore who raped him on his father’s orders.

 

Those were thoughts Ian would rather never have enter his head and that’s how it was gonna stay. He was just happy that Mickey was here with him and that Mickey acted like it was the only place he ever wanted to be. For once, everything seemed to be going the way he wanted them to. But, then, why was he having all these racing thoughts in his head? He wished they would just slow down to savor each and every moment Mickey was around. He always felt like he needed to be doing something, anything really.

 

When Mickey came back downstairs, Ian didn’t hear him. He was looking at the floor in deep concentration. He didn’t realize Mickey was there until he put a hand on Ian’s shoulder and shook gently.

 

“You in there, Ian?” Mickey said, worry etching across his face.

 

Ian looked at him in shock before smiling wide. “Hey.”

 

“You okay? I was calling you from upstairs,” Mickey said, carefully.

 

Ian leaned down to kiss Mickey’s forehead. “Just lost in my own world. I’d much rather get lost in you, though,” Ian whispered as he bit Mickey’s earlobe gently.

 

Mickey didn’t look too convinced but decided to drop it. Ian had been so patient with him for the past—actually since they have started this relationship. Mickey could spare Ian with some of his own patience once in a while, he figured.

 

As they climbed up the stairs, they landed in Lip’s room as to not disturb Liam. Mickey turned to face Ian as Ian shut the door behind him. Ian leaned against the door, pulling Mickey to him and kissing his lips passionately. “God, Mickey,” Ian groaned against his lips.

 

Mickey’s body shivered in anticipation. He loves it when Ian gets antsy. The outcome is always the best sex he thinks any person could ever have. Ian was going to give it to him hard and fast this afternoon. It’s amazing that Mickey knew this about Ian. But it just proved that Ian meant more to him than just some guy who we was willing to get fucked by. Sure, he’s topped with Ian but their regular roles worked perfectly. Mickey knows that Ian is really horny when he’s begging _Mickey_ to fuck _him_. Ian was such a whiny bottom though, and Mickey savored each and every time he topped just to hear Ian whine like the bitch he wants to be.

 

Ian started to slowly grind his crotch into Mickey’s, eliciting a delicious moan from Mickey that he hadn’t meant to let out. “Fuck,” Mickey whispered into Ian’s mouth.

 

“You like that, baby? Like it when I thrust my cock against yours?” Ian moaned against Mickey’s lips, eyes opened the entire time. Mickey’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and groaned, thrusting with Ian, making the friction just that much more pleasurable.

 

“Say it,” Ian commanded with a particularly hard thrust into Mickey’s crotch. “Fucking say it, baby.”

 

Mickey couldn’t deny Ian anymore. He felt freer than ever. “Fuck, I love your cock. Want it in me so bad,” he said, biting Ian’s lip hard. “Want you to fuck me so hard, Firecrotch. Want your dick.”

 

Ian groaned, all but throwing Mickey on the bed and tearing both their clothes off. Mickey would never admit it but he loved it when Ian manhandled him. But Ian already knew that.

 

As soon as they were both naked, Ian leaned down to Mickey’s hard and weeping cock before taking the whole thing into his mouth, gagging on the end. Mickey swore loudly as his hand immediately went to Ian’s head to keep him on his cock. Ian’s finesse with sucking cock would outmatch any of those pornstars you see on pornhub or spankwire.

 

“Fuck, baby, stop. I wanna come with your cock in me,” Mickey groaned out as he felt himself getting closer and closer.

 

Ian chuckled around Mickey’s cock before popping off. He climbed up Mickey’s body and was pulled into a clashing kiss of teeth and tongue. He didn’t mind. He searched blindly with his hand for the lube Ian knows Lip keeps in the bedside table drawer. Finally finding it, he poured a generous amount before sticking two fingers deep into Mickey. Mickey stiffened before relaxing and moaning wantonly.

 

Ian smiled at being able to make Mickey make such noises, knowing that he was the only one would could and would.

 

Mickey groaned in frustration at Ian’s slow and teasing pace. “God _damn_ , Ian. Just fuck me already.”

 

How could Ian say no to that? He smirked before crushing his lips to Mickey’s and lubing up his cock only to shove it roughly into Mickey. Mickey almost shouted at the pleasure/burn of being entered so roughly. Ian did not give him time to adjust before pounding into Mickey’s tight body without mercy.

 

Mickey pulled Ian down by the neck in an attempt to quiet his groans but it was not happening. Ian set a brutal pace, just the way Mickey wanted and knew Ian would. Mickey came embarrassingly quick for someone whose dick wasn’t even being touched. Ian groaned at the tightened feeling of Mickey’s ass as he continued to pound through it. Mickey was looking at Ian like he wanted something.

 

Ian leaned down so their foreheads rested together. “What you want, baby?”

 

Mickey kissed Ian softly before saying—

 

“ I love you.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much with the love and support! So happy to be back to this story! All of you are awesome!

Ian stopped and looked at Mickey below him. If Mickey regretted his words, he did not show it. Ian watched Mickey’s face for a couple of long moments before leaning down and giving Mickey’s lips the most gentle and loving kiss they have ever shared.

 

When they pulled apart, Mickey grabbed Ian’s head and forced his eyes back to Mickey’s. “I love you, Ian.”

 

Ian refused to cry, even though he wanted to. That would just ruin the moment and he couldn’t have that. Not when Mickey was being so caring and loving in this moment. He felt that if he even blinked, the moment would be ruined and Mickey would go back into his shell, never to say the words again.

 

But he has said them. Twice now and Ian would have never believed anyone else if they said it before Mickey.

 

“I love you,” Ian whispered before kissing Mickey again and moving into him at a much slower pace. He wanted to make love to Mickey now having the verbal confirmation that there was love between them.

 

This would be something new altogether.

 

~*~

 

That night after all the Gallagher’s were home, Ian and Mickey decided to go out. Ian had the night off and Mickey obviously wasn’t ready to go back to work yet. This made Ian wonder if Svetlana had anything to do with Mickey’s incident. But Ian was not going to push Mickey; he knows where that would get him. They overcame a huge milestone today and asking Mickey about his attack would put them back like ten paces. Ian was not willing to do that.

 

“So, where are we going? Just give me a hint,” Ian whined. It was Mickey’s idea to go out tonight anyway.

 

“Shut up, will ya? It’s a surprise,” Mickey said, not looking at Ian but glaring nonetheless.

 

Ian groaned sarcastically, earning the glare Mickey was giving to turn to his eyes. Ian looked at Mickey smugly.

 

Mickey pushed Ian to the side and kept walking, trying to ignore Ian’s barking laugh but failing as he tried to hide the smile forming on his face. He hitched his backpack up higher on his shoulder, thinking about how he was going to do this without Ian making a big deal about it. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind if Ian did, seeing as this was their first “actual” date. The air was chilly but it wouldn’t be a bother once they got to where Mickey was leading Ian.

 

Ian, in Mickey’s (and probably everyone else’s) opinion, has been acting strange ever since he got back. He wanted to give Ian something to help him with this new him but all Mickey could offer was himself and it seemed more than enough to pacify Ian. Mickey tried not to think too much on how different Ian was because he’d be a hypocrite. A lot has changed in Mickey, too. He couldn’t expect Ian to enlist into the army and come back the same.

 

But, he is trying hard to give Ian a reason to stay. Mickey wanted to give Ian all of him because that was exactly what he was receiving from Ian before everything went to hell.

 

Ian’s brow furrowed as he began to recognize his surroundings. “Are we going where I think we’re going?”

 

Mickey said nothing and didn’t look at Ian as they started to cross the baseball field. Ian was getting giddy. Mickey could feel the emotion practically radiating off his partner. _Partner_. That’s something to think about at another time. Saying “I love you” was one thing. Calling Ian something more meaningful than awkward nicknames was another.

 

Mickey stopped close to the dugout to unzip his backpack. Ian was watching him carefully; Mickey could feel Ian’s eyes burning into his back but Mickey was more nervous about Ian’s reaction than anything.

 

He carefully took out and laid out a blanket, saying softly enough that Ian could still hear him. “I seem to remember a conversation where looking for shooting stars was involved.”

 

He braved a glance to Ian’s face and was taken aback by what he saw there. Ian had his hands in fists up by his smiling mouth, biting a knuckle gently.

 

“I, uh, just thought it would be the best thing to do...on our first...date,” Mickey said, trying to make his voice stronger but wavering on the last word.

 

Ian said nothing as he closed the distance between them and cupped Mickey’s face in his hands. He kissed Mickey’s lips gently before pulling back and looking deep into Mickey’s eyes. Mickey was overcome by the love and affection in Ian’s gaze. Ian was still silent but smiling wide as he sat down on the blanket, grabbing Mickey’s hand to pull him down to sit beside him.

 

Surprising Ian, Mickey did not release Ian’s hand. If anything, he laced their fingers together and kissed the top of Ian’s hand before looking up at the clear almost-spring sky. So many starts were out tonight. Everything seemed to be perfect if not for the sound of Southside traffic.

 

But neither of them seemed to mind. If anything, it made it even more natural. Mickey felt right at home doing this for Ian, for the man he _loved_. That surprised Mickey the most about all of this. Ian lay back on the blanket, motioning Mickey to do the same. They lay there shoulder to shoulder with their fingers still laced on Mickey’s chest and let the comfortable silence wash over them. They cocooned themselves in nothing but each other, this blanket and that starry sky. _Yeah_ , Mickey thought silently, _this is perfect_.

 

~*~

 

 _Mickey doesn’t know when or how it stopped. He managed to get to his feet despite the pain racketing through his entire body. The only thing he could think of was_ I have to get to Ian. Before they do. Need to see him. Know he’s okay _. Through blurred vision, Mickey limped his way through Southside Chicago on a mission he would complete if it kills him. He needed to know that Ian was okay._

_He was faintly aware of the blood trail he was leaving in the snow but refused to stop even though his body was begging him to. He needed to see Ian. Nothing was going to stop him. He pleaded with his body and mind to hold on until he got to the Gallagher’s and saw Ian alive and well. After that, they could give up if they wanted to. He would’ve gotten what he wanted: to see Ian one last time._

_The pain was almost unbearable and it took everything he had in him to not scream out. Before he knew it, he was at the Gallagher’s. But something was wrong. He looked at the decrepit chain fence and doubled over at the sight he met._

_Ian, on his back over the fence, covered in all the blood his body could supply. Mickey seemed to be on autopilot as he made his way slowly to the horror. Blood was dripping from every dangling limb of Ian’s. On the sidewalk, written in blood right in front of Ian was FAGGOT. Mickey couldn’t breathe. He started screaming and tried to get Ian off the fence. He managed to get Ian into the yard in the snow before almost falling on top of him to check for a pulse or breathing. Just_ ANYTHING _to let him know that Ian would be okay._

_Ian was not responding to Mickey whatsoever. Mickey’s hysteria welled up in him and seemed to shake the ground as he screamed and cried out. Then everything went black._

~*~

 

“MICKEY, WAKE UP!”

 

Mickey shot out of the bed and onto the floor as if someone electrocuted him. He was breathing hard and seemed to not be able to get enough oxygen to his pounding head. Ian watched Mickey’s eyes focus in the dim room. Ian was afraid to touch him in case Mickey still wasn’t fully aware of his surroundings. Ian slowly dropped off the bed and sat in front of Mickey.

 

Mickey was still breathing hard but eventually focused his gaze to Ian’s face, searching for any signs that his nightmare was real. Ian looked at him with such worry and it killed any sense of fleeing in Mickey. He wanted to stay. Mickey all but jumped Ian, holding him tight. Ian froze for a moment before his arms wrapped themselves around Mickey.

 

“It was so real,” Mickey whispered, sounding completely broken.

 

Ian said nothing but rubbed his hands up and down Mickey’s back, feeling the wetness form on his shoulder.

 

“Seemed so fucking real,” Mickey said nothing.

 

Ian kissed Mickey’s head, hoping to would give Mickey some comfort. “Everything’s okay,” Ian whispered, kissing Mickey’s head again.

 

“I-I couldn’t get—there...in time,” Mickey said, his entire body shaking uncontrollably. Ian shushed him and continued to hold him.

 

Mickey never spoke of that night again. The nightmare messed with his mentality when it came to Ian.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait! School started but I've been writing in my notebook a lot during class for this story! Just gotta keep writing and transferring it onto my laptop!

Ian was getting ready for work when it hit him. His movements were growing sluggish and his entire demeanor changed. Mickey was in the bathroom taking a shower when it happened. Ian’s eyes hurt to keep open and he could feel his normally happy face sink. Without much thought, he climbed back into bed and burrowed himself into the sheets, blocking most of the unforgiving light in the room.

 

Mickey came out of the bathroom dressed in ripped jeans and a wife-beater still shaking the water from his hair with a towel when he noticed Ian was back in bed.

 

“Hey, man. You’re gonna be late for work if you don’t get up like now,” Mickey said, looking for a shirt to put on. When Ian didn’t respond, Mickey looked at the lump in the bed and peeked into the covers in a teasing manner.

 

His easy smile fell away as soon as he saw Ian’s face. Ian was wide-awake but looked so sad and defeated.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong? You feeling sick?”

 

Ian’s eyes didn’t leave whatever fiber of the cotton sheet he was staring at but his lips moved silently.

 

“Ian?” Mickey whispered softly, looking towards the door and hoping someone would come in and help him.

 

Mickey crawled into the small bed beside Ian under the covers. Ian was only in his boxers so Mickey surmised he didn’t even try to get ready for work.

 

“What’s going on?” Mickey said, seriously starting to get worried about Ian’s lack of response and the light that had been in his eyes since he returned was no where to be found in his green eyes that looked black now.

 

Ian still did not respond, not even moving his lips anymore. Mickey watched Ian shut his eyes and huff out a sigh as small tears started leaking from his eyes.

 

Mickey was stunned. He had no idea why Ian was suddenly down and crying. He didn’t know how to deal with something like this. He reached a hand to Ian’s face but Ian snapped away from him like he had been shocked. Mickey watched Ian for a few more minutes before kissing Ian’s forehead and getting up to head downstairs in the hopes of finding Lip or Fiona.

 

No such luck. Only the youngest three Gallagher’s were home, sitting on the couch eating popcorn and watching TV. Mickey sighed.

 

“Hey,” Mickey said, looking at Debbie.

 

She looked at him. “Yeah?”

 

“Ian’s not feeling good and I’m going to work. Can you keep an eye on his for me?” Mickey said, trying to ignore the surprise in her eyes.

 

“You’re going to _work_?”

 

“Yeah, just keep an eye on Ian. He doesn’t look good. Tell Fiona or Lip when they get home to look at Ian. Thanks,” Mickey said, getting out the door before Debbie could say anything else.

 

~*~

 

Mickey stood outside the Alibi wearily. He didn’t want to go in but he knew he had to. He had to get over whatever it was that was holding him back. Mickey took a deep breath and cautiously opened the door to the Alibi. He tried hard not to think about Ian, wrapped on the bed crying into his sheets. Mickey mindlessly went to the bar and sat down.

 

“Hey, Mickey. What’s up, man?” Kev said upon seeing Mickey. He didn’t want to make a big deal of Mickey finally coming to work because he knew that would just scare Mickey off again.

 

Mickey shook his head. “How’s upstairs?”

 

“Moderate, I’d say, for a Tuesday. Glad to see you back; lemme buy you a beer,” Kev said. While pouring the beer into a glass, Kev asks, “How’s living at the Gallagher’s?”

 

Kev asked softly as to not raise attention from the other bar patrons. Mickey shrugged his shoulders. “It’s Ian. He’s not feeling good today. Had to call the club and tell them he wouldn’t be in tonight.”

 

Kev looked at him curiously. “Probably just the flu or something.”

 

Mickey huffed out a humorless laugh and played his lip with his tongue. “Ian never gets sick. He was fine this morning, running and laughing like he has been. But I know Ian doesn’t get sick. He’s got the immune system of a fucking elephant or something. I don’t know, man,” Mickey said, running a hand through his jet-black hair.

 

Kev was honestly surprised at how worried Mickey looked about Ian but at the same time, he wasn’t. He knew from the moment he saw Ian’s face when Mickey was lying on the kitchen floor that there was something more between the two boys.

 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine, Mickey,” Kev said, nodding as he walked away to wait on another patron.

 

Mickey wanted to believe Kev but he really couldn’t shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong with Ian.

 

~*~

 

Mickey was only at the bar for a couple hours before he couldn’t stay there anymore. He couldn’t even think about work when Ian was probably still lying in bed with tears running down his face. Mickey said a quick goodbye to Kev before basically running out the door and towards the Gallagher house.

 

When he arrived, Fiona was sitting at the table, her head in her hands. She looked up with blotched eyes when she heard Mickey come in.

 

“What the fuck?” Mickey asked, trying not to get upset before he knew what was going on.

 

Fiona didn’t say anything as more tears fell and her face scrunched up. Mickey stood there barely breathing. He stood there, thinking of bolting upstairs when suddenly, Fiona’s arms wrapped around him and she cried into his shoulder.

 

Mickey froze, not knowing what to do. He instinctively patted her back with one hand but other than that, he had no idea what the fuck to do.

 

“What’s going on?” Mickey asked, trying not to let it show his voice was shaking.

 

Fiona took a couple of deep breaths before answering. “I-Ian. I think he’s got what our mom’s got,” she managed to get out.

 

Mickey pulled away and looked at her face. “What do you mean?”

 

She took another shaky breath trying to calm herself. “I think Ian has bipolar disorder, like our mom.”

 

Mickey gave her a blank look. “Bi-what? What the fuck is that?”

 

“It’s manic depression. I should have noticed something when he came back. It’s basically a roller coaster ride. He’ll have crazy excited days and then he’ll have days where he won’t get out of bed or talk or eat over and over again. I went up there when I got home and he reminds me of Monica,” Fiona managed out before sobs took over and she clutched Mickey harder.

 

Mickey stood completely still, not comprehending anything she just said. He knew Ian was different but he wouldn’t have ever thought it would be something like that. He didn’t know much about illnesses other than what you could see.

 

“What can we do?”

 

“He needs to see a doctor, get on meds to stabilize him. He might have to be hospitalized.”

 

“Fuck-what?! He’s not fucking crazy! No hospitals. None. I’m not gonna let him be taken into a fucking psych ward!” Mickey almost screamed. Fiona was taken back from Mickey’s outburst.

 

“Mickey, he could become suicidal,” Fiona explained to him.

 

“I won’t let that happen. I’ll take care of him. Not some fucking nuthouse. He’s staying with me,” Mickey said with finality, trying to keep from breaking down in front of Fiona. He left her to go upstairs to Ian, to try to get him to talk.

 

When he entered the bedroom, he immediately got undressed into his boxers and a wife-beater before climbing into the small bed next to the motionless blob that was Ian. Mickey wrapped his arms around Ian and knew by Ian’s breathing that he was awake.

 

“Hey,” Mickey said. When Ian didn’t respond, Mickey continued, “You want anything? Food? Water?”

 

Still, no response.

 

Mickey sighed a shaky breath. “You’re sister told me that you have something. Something that won’t just go away. Something I can’t make go away. She said that you need to see a doctor. I’ll do anything you want me to do; just tell me and I’ll do it. I love you, Ian and I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Mickey was heartbroken when he received no response still. He tried to hide his tears but he knew Ian could feel them at his back. He clutched more into Ian as everything else faded away.

 

Mickey didn’t know if he could help Ian but he knew he’d try everything he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should have probably done this in the first chapter but the inspiration for this story (the title) is The Whole World is Watching by Within Temptation (my absolute favorite band!) Please listen to the song! They are amazing!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone! I'm finally transferring from my notebook to my laptop so updates should be coming more frequently! Enjoy!

When Mickey woke up the next morning, he was aware that Ian hadn’t moved at all in the night. He put his hand to Ian’s forehead, denying at all cost that Ian was mentally sick.

 

“You need anything?”

 

No answer.

 

Mickey sighed and tried to hold back tears. He got up and wiped at his eye as he left the room. Debbie and Carl were already gone for school, Fiona had left for her job and Lip took Liam with him to his college classes. All left in the house was just him and Ian. Mickey took a shower and got redressed in the bathroom, managing to breath normally without getting choked up. He took a cool wet washcloth, entered the bedroom, putting the cloth on Ian’s head.

 

Ian jumped slightly and that alone made Mickey smile.

 

“Dude, whatever’s going on in that head of yours, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you wanna talk,” he said, continuing to spread the cloth down Ian’s face, his neck and shoulder’s.

 

Ian said nothing and Mickey just lay there with him all day and called their respective works to let them know they wouldn’t be in today.

 

~*~

 

Later that night, The Gallagher clan and Mickey and Mandy sat in the living room for a ‘family meeting.’ Of course, it was about Ian.

 

“Okay, so we know that Ian isn’t well right now and it looks too familiar. Ian may be like Monica,” Fiona started with, going in headfirst. The younger Gallaghers (excluding Liam) and Mandy’s eyes went wide and watery while Lip just looked pissed.

 

Mickey was just numb. He refused to believe that what was wrong with Ian was something he couldn’t fix. Mandy felt Mickey tense next to her and put a hand on his arm, which he all but slapped away.

 

Mandy just looked at him for a moment before turning her attention back to Fiona.

 

“So, we gotta get him help, get him to the clinic as soon as he’s up and about again. We won’t let him be like Monica.”

 

“Why don’t we just ask him what he wants instead of deciding it for him?” Mickey cut in, his tone hard.

 

Lip looked at him before responding in just as hard of a tone. “When he is finally willing to get out of bed, he won’t think there was anything wrong with him. He’ll deny it, just like you are now. If he needs help, he needs help. He needs to get on meds to help stabilize his mood swings. I know you don’t know much about this but all of us have grown up watching this happen again and again. I could care less about my fucking mother but that’s my brother who got the short stick in the fucking pool gene.”

 

“We might still have some of Monica’s lithium around here. At least to start him off. Maybe we can get him to take it now?” Fiona said, putting her hands in her jean pockets.

 

“If it weren’t for his breathing, he could be mistaken for a dead person. Good luck getting him to take anything when he won’t even speak,” Mickey commented.

 

“Mickey, you need to be on board with getting him better. This will be for the rest of his life and he has to take something to balance him out. There’s nothing else that can be done for him. It’s meds and support from all of us. Especially you, Mickey. Ian loves you and will take your opinion more seriously. You need to help us help him,” Fiona practically begged him.

 

Mickey refused to look at anyone, wanting to keep the delusion that Ian would be fine in a couple of days. But he couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling that Ian wasn’t going to be fine.

 

“Fine,” Mickey whispered, ignoring everyone in the room, getting up and heading upstairs to lay with Ian.

 

When he got into the bedroom, he noticed that Ian hadn’t moved an inch from the last time he saw him. Getting into bed and curling his body to Ian’s, Mickey kissed the redhead’s hair before holding him tight and falling into a restless sleep.

 

~*~

 

One night, a couple weeks after Ian got into bed and didn’t get up; Mickey woke up in bed alone. It was 4am. Panic set in as he rushed out of bed. He checked the upstairs bathroom first but no Ian. Careless to how much noise he was making, Mickey rushed down the stairs and found Ian in the kitchen, scrubbing the floor.

 

“Ian, what the fuck?” Mickey said, annoyance clearly written on his face but secretly relieved.

 

Ian looked up in surprise and a huge grin appeared on his face. “Hey, Mick. I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get up and do something.”

 

Mickey looked at Ian in shock. “So, you feelin’ better?”

 

“Oh yeah! Even took a shower and went for a run before,” Ian said excitedly.

 

Mickey looked at Ian wearily. “So, uh, wanna do some running around with me? You know, later?”

 

“Sure! I called the club when I got up and told them I was feeling better so I go in at 8 but before that, I’m all yours,” Ian said, standing up and walking over to Mickey. He grabbed the back of Mickey’s head and crushed his lips to Mickey’s. Mickey reciprocated half-heartedly. He knew he had to get Ian help. If he has what Fiona thinks he has, then he needs to try medication or at least talk to someone who could help him.

 

So Mickey was going to trick Ian (probably not the best way) into going to the clinic.

 

~*~

 

“So, what’s going on with Svetlana and the baby?” Ian asked as he walked (more like bounced) next to Mickey.

 

“His name’s Yevgeny, which I think is fucking stupid. Other than that, don’t know. Don’t care,” Mickey told him, trying to not fidget too much. He was so nervous about this. He didn’t want to trick Ian but he knew he had to do something.

 

Upon entering the clinic, he saw Ian lose some of the bounce in his step and his face falter ever so slightly.

 

“Uh, Mick? What are we doing here?” Ian asked, trying to smile. “Wanna get STD tested?”

 

Mickey looked at him a moment before responding. “Actually, yeah. We should both get tested, too. God knows if you contracted anything from all those geriatrics but that’s not the reason we came here.”

 

Ian looked at him in confusion.

 

Mickey sighed and actually took Ian’s hand in his in the surprisingly empty waiting room. “I want you to talk to the doctor about last week.”

 

“Mick, I was just sick. I feel fine now,” Ian said, a smile gracing his face.

 

Mickey couldn’t smile back. “Ian, there’s a chance you are still sick. I don’t mean physically.”

 

“What _do_ you mean, then?”

 

Mickey bit his lip. “You might have what your mom has.”

 

Ian surprised him by laughing. “You think I’m bipolar?”

 

“Ian, I don’t know what you are. I do know that you haven’t really been yourself since you left. Whether you want to believe it or not, I loved you then like I love you now and I’ve always cared, I just want you to talk to someone just to see...please,” Mickey whispered pleadingly.

 

“I can’t believe you tricked me into coming here. Seriously, Mick? If you wanna leave, then leave. Don’t use a medical excuse,” Ian accused, getting frustrated.

 

“Hey! I don’t wanna leave. But the Ian I knew isn’t here anymore. I still love you, every part of you. But if you need help, I’m gonna make sure you get it. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it. Just _please_ , do this one thing for me.”

 

Ian looked at Mickey with a look of distrust and contemplation. Finally, he deflated. Looking away, he said, “What if I am like her?”

 

His voice sounds so small and it breaks Mickey’s heart. He grabbed Ian’s chin and makes Ian look into Mickey’s eyes. “You may be bipolar, but you’re nothing like her. We’ll get you help and meds or therapy or whatever you need. I’m not gonna let you walk away this time like she did. And I’m not walking away either. Can you please do this if anything for yourself?”

 

Mickey looked Ian in the eyes, trying to tell Ian everything he just spoke was true.

 

Ian sighed. “Fine. Let’s get it over with,” he said, squeezing Mickey’s hand before standing up and walking over to the receptionist.

 

~*~

 

Ian and Mickey did their STD tests, to Ian’s amusement and were currently in the doctor’s (Dr. Elisabeth Woods) office, sitting across from her.

 

“So, what can I do for you gentlemen today?” she asked sweetly.

 

“I’m here because I was tricked,” Ian said, smiling at Mickey.

 

Mickey rolled his eyes. “Can you please take this seriously? We’re here to see if he’s sick.”

 

Dr. Woods asked, “Sick?”

 

Ian finally calmed down enough to be serious. “I think I might be bipolar.”

 

“Okay, tell me about how you’re feeling.”

 

“...lost. I was energetic and rarely sleeping. Then one day, I was getting ready for work and it hit me. I noticed earlier in the day that I didn’t want to do anything. I started feeling myself get heavy. I crawled back into bed and didn’t leave it for a long time,” Ian said, not looking at anyone but the floor.

 

“6 days,” Mickey said, looking at the doctor.

 

“Also, my mother has bipolar disorder. I’m familiar with it but I’ve been going through this cycle for over a couple of months now.”

 

Mickey looked at him. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

 

Ian stayed silent. Dr. Woods cut in. “Any person would rather ignore something wrong than admit there was something wrong they couldn’t fix. You say it runs in your family? Does your mother take medication?”

 

“No. She’s the person who ignores the problem. I don’t know if she has more familial history. She’s been in and out of my life since I was born. I’m afraid I’m like her. I’ve already made mistakes just like she did. I ran away, started doing anything I wanted to for sex, drugs, anything that made me feel more...real.”

 

Dr. Woods continued to make eye contact with Ian as she wrote down whatever it was she was writing.

 

They stayed there talking to her for what seemed like forever. But Mickey knew this was a step in the right direction. And that was all he needed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my lovelies! Great revelations in this chapter!! Enter SVETLANA! Would've updated it days ago but my house lost the internet until monday…thank my bestest friend's WIFI for the uploading of this chapter!!

When Svetlana showed up at the Gallagher house, everyone was eating dinner at the table o the rare day when everyone was home at night. She barged in through the front door and when she appeared in the kitchen, carrying her child, Mickey’s smile from something Debbie said faded from his face.

 

“You been here? As I give birth to son, you here with orange boy?”

 

Everyone was quiet. They stared between Mickey and Svetlana.

 

“So? Mute, are you? I only one did not know where you were. I thought you dead.”

 

“Disappointed?” Mickey said, trying to keep his cool and not let anyone know how fast his heart was racing. Ian had put his hand on Mickey’s knee in silent support and reassurance.

 

“Relieved,” Svetlana breathed out. “Can we speak private?”

 

“Not unless I’m there,” Ian jumped in. He was not about to let Mickey be alone with her, not knowing if she was responsible for Mickey’s accident. “We can go upstairs, come on,” he said, getting up and taking Mickey’s hand in his. Ian made sure to be in between Mickey and Svetlana up the stairs.

 

Once in the boys’ bedroom, Mickey sat on Ian’s bed and Ian leaned against the dresser, keeping himself between them as Svetlana lingered just in the doorway.

 

“I had baby. His name Yevgeny. Your son,” Svetlana said.

 

“Why do you think I’d give a fuck?”

 

Svetlana sighed, looking at Yevgeny who was sound asleep. “I thought you dead. When I heard Terry sent men to kill you, was apparent to be done. I find blood in house but no body. I clean before Mandy come home. I call Terry, he tell me he find out you stay with orange boy. He tell me situation taken care of. I thought he order hit and succeed. I could not face Mandy but she never ask me about you. She knew you still alive, here with him,” she nodded her head to Ian. “I never mean to hurt you or you.”

 

“So, Terry ordered a hit on Mickey?” Ian asked, looking at Mickey who was looking at the floor.

 

“Should’ve just did it himself if he wanted it done right,” Mickey huffed dryly and lit a cigarette.

 

“I not understand why he hate you only because you like the penis. I never be involved in hurting you, Mickey. I want only you to care for baby and me. He have no choice. I not care if you love orange boy, just help me with baby. Come home. Bring him. We be family, all of us.” Svetlana said, handing Yevgeny over to Ian. She then walked to Mickey and offered her hand to shake. “And we kill Terry if he try hurting you more,” she said.

 

Mickey looked at her in astonishment. “Wait. You want me to take care of the kid and you but I can still have Ian? Where’s the fucking catch?”

 

“No catch. I know you not love me. Is okay. You not like Terry. You good man and deserve happiness. But I not do this alone. He your son. Not his fault Terry cruel. He need happy home. Ian make you happy, yes?”

 

“Yeah,” he whispered, looking at Ian who was touching Yevgeny’s hand and watching the baby closely.

 

“Then he come. We be all happy.”

 

“Ian,” Mickey said. Ian looked up at him. “What do I do?”

 

Ian ignored the fact that he wanted to smile that Mickey wanted his input. He shrugged. “If she’s willing to put up with me, I’d say we go for Yev’s sake.” Ian walked over to Mickey and handed Yev to Mickey. “He can be loved by his parents like we never were.”

 

“Are you seriously willing to move out of here and live with me there? It’s a lot for you with the clinic and everything,” Mickey asked, holding his son awkwardly in his arms, trying not to drop him but not really wanted to hold the brat.

 

“Well, yeah. I love you, Mick. But you need to think of your son, too.” Ian said, kissing Mickey’s forehead. “Everything will be okay.”

 

Mickey looked down at his son who was wide awake now and looking at Mickey’s face, doing that baby thing where they suck on their lips.

 

“We happy, Yevgeny happy. All that matters,” Svetlana said softly. “Move back this week. We go everything soon, yes?”

 

Mickey didn’t take his eyes off Yevgeny. Ian looked at Svetlana. “Yeah, we’ll be there. Can we keep Yev for a little while? I think we should bond with him.”

 

Svetlana nodded, smiling small. “Few hours okay. I go work, then. I pick him up on way home.”

 

She approached Mickey and their son. She kissed the top of her son’s head before kissing Mickey’s cheek, whispering “thank you.” Then she turned and left, patting Ian’s face as she did and leaving the over worn baby bag in the doorway.

 

Mickey froze and Ian burst into laughter. “Mickey got kissed by a girl!”

 

“Fuck off before I throw this thing at you,” Mickey threatened, gesturing with Yevgeny.

 

“You wouldn’t. You love both of us too much,” Ian said, kissing Mickey’s forehead.

 

“How would I love someone I don’t know,” Mickey whispered.

 

“He can’t be worse than the people you do know,” Ian said, watching Mickey gaze at Yevgeny. “Well, maybe I should teach you some basic baby care like changing a diaper and dressing him. I’ll go get Liam’s old clothes so he has more than just a onesie on,” Ian said after a moment of silence.

 

Mickey looked down at his son when Ian left the room. He didn’t know how to feel about him. He wasn’t conceived in the happiest of times and looking at him reminds Mickey of that day. He wondered if that would ever go away.

 

~*~

 

“So you’re moving out?” Fiona asked.

 

Mickey was out at the bar, feeling more comfortable knowing that Svetlana didn’t want to hurt him so Ian decided to break the news to his family, who were all rounded up in the living room.

 

Ian shrugged. “I mean, I’ll still be here a lot, I just won’t sleep here mostly. I know you guys don’t understand me and Mickey, but I love him and I’m gonna go where he goes.”

 

Lip cut in. “But what about your meds? How are we supposed to help if we can’t see you reacting to them?”

 

“Mickey’s taking care of everything when it comes to me being bipolar. He’s not leaving me alone for more than an hour until we know for sure my meds work. I’ll still come back and help you here but you have to trust Mickey. He’s not gonna leave me or hurt me,” Ian said, getting really tired of having to always defend Mickey to people.

 

“Dude, we’re not worried about that. We’ve trusted him this far. We’re just worried about your meds. We wanna see you stable enough before you leave. That’s all we’re asking,” Lip said.

 

“Why do you have to leave? Everything was just getting back to normal,” Debbie said, slouching more in her spot on the couch.

 

Ian sighed. “We all have to leave at some point, Debs. I’m only gonna be like two streets away! You’ll see me all the time. Plus, I’m going back to school this summer to try to get caught up. I have an opportunity to be with Mickey and I’m not going to pass that up. It’ll be fine. I promise.”

 

Fiona turned to Debbie, “see? It’s going to be okay. We’re gonna be fine and that’s more than we’ve had in a while. And I’m sure you can always go to Mickey’s to see Ian.”

 

“Yeah, Debs,” Ian said. “Someone’s gotta make sure Mickey’s not burning down the house with Yev when I’m back in school. You love babies and he’s still a baby.”

 

“So is Yev,” Lip said, smirking at Ian’s half-hearted scowl.

 

“Ha-ha, you’re so funny, Lip! Why go to college when you can make it as a stand-up comedian?” Ian rolled his eyes, grinning. “We’re gonna go there sometime this weekend to work out everything with Svetlana.”

 

“And you’re sure she didn’t have anything to do with Mickey getting attacked?” Fiona asked.

 

“Yeah,” Ian said. “It was all Terry. He got some of his guys to try to kill Mickey cuz he knew Mickey was staying with me and not with his wife.”

 

Everyone absorbed the information in silence, each thinking about how this change will affect them personally.

 

Fiona got up and rubbed her hands together. “Alright, let’s have dinner and just take it all day by day.”

 

Cuz that was all they could do now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna be on the "I-Hate-Svetlana" train but I wanted something a little different for this story. So she's gonna be "nice" Svetlana. I'll eventually write something that proves my disgust for her tho, if warranted!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Here's a (very smutty) chapter for you darlings! Thanks for bearing with me! My birthday was last week (Big 2-1!) and I've been focusing on school and work too much for my own (And this story's) good. Thank you everyone!! Hope you like it!

Mickey came home that night from “work” and was surprised to find Ian the only person on the first floor.

 

“Hey,” Mickey said hesitantly, not knowing how Ian was feeling, being in the dark with only the TV light alone.

 

“Hey,” Ian responded, a wide smile forming on his face, making Mickey visibly relax. He walked up to Ian and bent down to kiss him fully on the lips. Ian immediately returned the kiss, knowing they hadn’t had much time for just them.

 

Mickey pulled away and sat down on the couch. “So, Svetlana and I talked some in between her giving hummers to strangers.”

 

“Yeah?” Ian asked, curling Mickey so he was between Ian’s legs, back to his chest. He laced their fingers together and rested them on Ian’s knee, noting how Mickey didn’t pull back. If anything, he relaxed more into Ian’s embrace.

 

“Yepp, she’s gonna take Terry’s room with Yev and we’ll be in my bedroom. That’s pretty much all we talked about. Got to hold Yev a bit.”

 

Ian squeezed Mickey gently. “That’s great, Mick.”

 

Mickey shrugged. “I don’t know, man. Looking at him reminds me of when everything went wrong.”

 

“It’s okay to feel that way but you’re still trying. Svetlana’s right; he’s just a baby. He’s innocent in all this. Just take it day by day. A lot’s about to change,” Ian said, kissing the side of Mickey’s head.

 

“Don’t forget about the clinic tomorrow, man. Gotta get you evaluated and on your first dose,” Mickey reminded him, signifying he was done with the previous conversation.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I remember,” Ian said, moving his head to look at Mickey’s face. “Told my family about me moving out tonight.”

 

“Yeah? How’d it go?” Mickey said, grinning knowingly.

 

“Easier than I thought but they still fought a bit. They’re only concerned about me being stable on my meds more than me actually moving out to be with you. They said they want to make sure my meds are working before I leave but I think I convinced them enough that you’re gonna take care of me.”

 

“Damn straight, I am. I don’t wanna see you like that again even more than they do. You scared the hell outta me, Ian,” Mickey whispered the last part.

 

“I know,” Ian whispered back. Ian took Mickey’s lips again with his but with intent this time. They haven’t had done much since Ian got better. There was barely any time for them to anything other than make out a little in between seeing each other and leaving.

 

Mickey returned the kiss full heartedly. He could feel Ian’s cock swell against his back. “Oh, so now are you gonna fuck me?” Mickey whispered teasingly against Ian’s lips.

 

Ian smiled. “That’s my plan if you shut the fuck up.”

 

Mickey returned the smiled before turning around and lying completely on Ian, fusing their mouths together. Ian moaned a little into Mickey’s mouth, knowing they have to be quiet for the other Gallagher’s. Ian’s hands travelled down Mickey’s side to his ass, pushing down so their cocks rubbed against each other through layers of clothing. They both bit out a groan. Mickey released Ian’s lips and lifts Ian’s shirt up so Ian could take it off. Mickey did the same before leaning back down, touching their naked chests together. Ian made a quick work of Mickey’s jeans and once he got them open, he shoved his hand inside and gripped Mickey’s cock in his hand.

 

“Fuck,” Mickey moaned against Ian’s lips before bowing his head to suck on Ian’s neck. He continued to thrust into Ian’s fist.

 

When Mickey picked his head up, Ian was in awe of the unexplainable expression on his boyfriend’s face. Ian could have sworn that he fell a little bit more in love with Mickey. Mickey stood up and shed the rest of his restricting clothes, already missing Ian’s touch before he undid Ian’s pants and shoved them down to Ian’s knees. Without warning, Mickey closed his mouth around Ian’s cock, making Ian buck his hips.

 

Mickey sucked on the head of Ian’s cock hard before licking the underside of the shaft, making Ian shiver and groan Mickey’s name. For being in the closet for as long as Mickey was, he’s really great at giving head. Mickey never really said no when Ian would ask him to suck his dick. He’d put up a small fight but if Ian kept at it enough, Mickey would do it “to shut you the fuck up,” he said.

 

Ian was always surprised when Mickey would go as far as he did when sucking his cock. Mickey would do almost everything without Ian’s prompting. He’d jack Ian’s dick while he sucked Ian’s balls into his mouth. Ian always wanted to come at that point because Mickey did it without Ian even asking him to.

 

“Fuck, Mickey,” Ian groaned, running his fingers through Mickey’s hair.

 

Mickey went back up to Ian’s cock and swallowed him whole. Ian bucked his hips once into Mickey’s mouth, trying to remember to keep quiet. But fuck if Mickey’s mouth on his cock didn’t make Ian want to scream out.

 

When Ian was on the brink of cumming, he pushed Mickey off him. “Wanna cum inside your ass, babe,” Ian said by way of explanation. Without letting Mickey say anything, he flipped Mickey onto his stomach on the couch, Ian lying fully on top of Mickey, kissing and biting his neck. Mickey turned his head so he could catch Ian’s lips in a bruising kiss.

 

Ian pulled away harshly before trailing his lips to the back of Mickey’s neck and down to where his scars lay. They didn’t look nearly as bad now but it would take a blind person to not see what it said.

 

“You’re still so fucking beautiful,” Ian whispered as he kissed and licked every inch of Mickey’s scar. Mickey wanted to tell him to stop, tell Ian to ignore it, pretend it never happened. But he was in awe of Ian’s ease with seeing it now, telling Mickey that it didn’t matter because it was still him.

 

Ian could feel Mickey tense as he continued to go along the scar. “Mick, this means nothing and everything. If anything, it just reminds me that I could lose you and I don’t want that. It makes what we feel more real because we’d do anything; go through anything, for each other. It makes me feel human to know that you stayed even though it’s because of me you went through this and still found the effort to make sure I was okay.”

 

Ian leaned up enough to look Mickey in the eye. “I love you. I don’t care that you have ‘faggot’ carved on your back. It doesn’t make you any less attractive to me. If anything, it makes you more attractive because I know you loved me enough to limp your way here for me after you got it.”

 

Ian kissed Mickey’s lips softly. When he pulled away, he wiped the small tears in Mickey’s eyes, saying nothing about them because he knew Mickey. Pointing it out would only be bad.

 

“Love you, too, Ian. So fucking much,” Mickey whispered. Ian smiled at him, kissing Mickey passionately before moving to kiss down his back to his ass.

 

“Fuck, Mickey. I love your ass,” Ian said, spreading Mickey’s ass cheeks and swiping his tongue along the crack.

 

Mickey moaned loudly into the couch cushions, trying to stifle it but Ian still heard it. All the tension from moments ago completely forgotten. Ian loved knowing that he was the only one to make Mickey feel this way. He swiped his tongue against Mickey’s hole, gaining the same reaction as before, before biting Mickey’s left ass cheek lovingly.

 

“Gonna open you up, Mick. Gonna get you all wet for me and shove my dick so far up your tight ass you won’t be able to sit for a week without feeling like my cock is still inside you,” Ian muttered before licking inside Mickey’s hole, making Mickey call out, regardless of anyone being able to hear him. He loved it when Ian would say things like that to him. It turned him like nothing else ever could.

 

Mickey began to grind himself into the couch to create the friction he so desperately craved. Ian smiled at that and continued to tongue-fuck Mickey’s ass, loving how his boyfriend reacted to this. It wasn’t very often they have had the luxury of an unhurried fuck session and fuck it if Ian wouldn’t take the time to love Mickey the way he always wanted to. He knew Mickey felt the same or else Mickey wouldn’t have taken the time to go down on him.

 

Mickey got up suddenly, almost kicking Ian off the couch. He turned around on his back and sat up, pulling Ian with him. He grabbed the back of Ian’s neck and crashed their lips together, Mickey tasting himself on Ian’s tongue. Ian moaned into the kiss, moving his hands down Mickey’s body until he reached Mickey’s cock.

 

Ian ran one hand tenderly down the shaft, making Mickey shiver. Ian smiled wickedly when he released Mickey’s lips. He pushed Mickey back down onto the couch and kissed from Mickey’s neck to his cock. Ian took Mickey’s cock in his mouth and pushed a spit-slicked finger into him at the same time, making Mickey call out his name. Ian smirked around Mickey’s cock but continued to pump his finger into Mickey’s hole.

 

Mickey groaned, pushing his hips back into Ian’s hand, signaling for Ian to insert another finger. Soon, Ian had three fingers pumping into Mickey as he lazily sucked on Mickey’s cock. “Fuck, Ian. I’m ready. Get the fuck in me, man,” Mickey panted out, trying to calm down his body so he wouldn’t come before Ian was even in him.

 

Getting up, Ian was about to put on a condom when Mickey stopped him. Ian looked at Mickey in confusion. “Don’t want anything between us anymore. We’re both clean, we don’t need it,” Mickey murmured, surprisingly keeping eye contact with Ian. Ian nodded, a smile slowly gracing his face.

 

Mickey pushed Ian back onto the couch so he was hovering over Ian. Mickey kissed Ian slow and thorough before taking Ian’s cock into his mouth again, making sure it was wet enough to push inside Mickey’s ass. Ian groaned softly as Mickey popped his mouth off his cock and settled himself on Ian’s lap, straddling his body. Mickey seemed to waste no time in lifting himself up and putting Ian’s cock right at his entrance. Looking into each other’s eyes, Mickey sank himself slowly onto Ian’s cock, stretching himself around it and it was like coming home after years of prison.

 

As Mickey seated himself in Ian’s lap, Ian’s cock fully in him, they both let out a soft groan. They felt everything. Every movement, every flutter. Having nothing between them made coming together something more than just physical.

 

Ian pulled Mickey down so they could breathe each other’s breath, occasionally stealing kisses as Mickey slowly rocked up and down on Ian’s cock. Nothing hurried and every moment felt as they made love on the living room couch. Ian started raising his hips to meet Mickey’s lazy thrusts, making Mickey halt and groan at the feeling of being completely full of Ian. Ian took this opportunity to hold Mickey’s hips as he thrusts up into Mickey. Mickey let out a strangles moan as Ian hit that spot inside him that made his entire insides feel like they were burning him from the inside out.

 

“Fuck, Ian,” Mickey moaned breathlessly into Ian’s ear, lifting his head enough to crush his lips to Ian’s. Ian carefully sat up, holding Mickey to him as he did and never releasing his lips, and lay Mickey on his back on the other side of the couch. Never disconnecting from each other, Ian put them in a comfortable position so he could thrust into Mickey and hit that spot inside Mickey every time.

 

“God, Mick, I fucking love you,” Ian groaned, his pace increasing as he looked at Mickey’s blissed out face.

 

Mickey ran his hand down Ian’s chest before reaching up to pull Ian’s face down to his. He didn’t kiss him, though. He turned Ian’s head a bit his earlobe harshly before panting, “fuck me, Firecrotch,” into Ian’s ear.

 

Ian visibly shivered at the tone of Mickey’s voice, low and husky from the lust that was overpowering them. He began to piston in and out of Mickey, reaching between them to take hold of Mickey’s cock, jerking his cock furiously while Mickey just held onto Ian’s biceps, not capable of anything else with the way his man was fucking him now. Nothing else in the world mattered in this moment other than what Ian and Mickey were sharing just by looking into each other’s eyes. This right here was love like no other. No Gallagher nor Milkovich will ever experience something so great and so powerful as the love shared between these two men who have loved each other since they were boys just trying to find themselves in this hell called Southside Chicago.

 

As they both reached their peak, Mickey refused to quiet himself as Ian continuously pounded Mickey into the couch. He knew how much it turned Ian on to know for sure how much Mickey loved whatever Ian did when they were alone like this. He didn’t care if the whole of Chicago knew that Ian was fucking him right now because he actually had it so much better than most. He was with the man he loves and that was all he’s needed since he could remember.

 

Ian came, calling Mickey’s name as he continued to pump through his own orgasm to pull Mickey over the edge with him. The feeling of Ian coming inside him was all Mickey needed as he came all over Ian’s hand, which was still stroking him. They both continued to move with each other until both became too sensitive to the sensations each caused the other.

 

Ian laid his head on Mickey’s chest, still inside him and both panted as they tried to catch their breath. Mickey ran his fingers through Ian’s hair and back as they came down from their high.

 

“Love you,” Mickey whispered hoarsely.

 

Ian smiled, picked his head up so his chin was lying on Mickey’s chest and looked at Mickey. “Love you.”

 

“Everything’s gonna be okay, now. We’ll be okay,” Mickey said softly as Ian lifted himself to kiss Mickey’s lips gently. Tomorrow’s a new day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhh you guys are going to HATE me. I was seriously getting to the point of "where the hell am i going with this story anymore" when it hit me. And this is what came out. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry because I think that this chapter makes this story more realistic. Thanks guys!! My muse is running with this so expect long and hopefully frequent updates!

The next morning, the Gallagher children plus Mickey were in the kitchen eating breakfast. Lip had already left for college with Liam, and Debbie and Carl were sitting at the table. Fiona was MIA and it irked Ian.

 

“Did Fi say she was going anywhere this morning? I know she doesn’t work until like 2,” Ian said to Debbie.

 

Debbie shrugged her shoulders. “Nah, she was gone before I got up. She didn’t say anything last night that I remember about today.”

 

“Huh,” Ian responded, looking down at his eggs that Mickey was so gracious to provide for his family this morning.

 

After their long night of touching and meaningful words, Mickey and Ian seemed to be in a much better place than Mickey would have thought they would ever be in. Mickey got up early to start breakfast for the family so Ian could rest his aching body for a little longer. Mickey was sore but he could walk the same as he always has. Ian called it his swagger, which made Mickey go red in the face and not so playfully punch his other half’s arm. Ian would just laugh.

 

“Don’t worry too much. She’ll straighten out. Hasn’t she done better since you came home?” Mickey reminded him.

 

Ian nodded slowly. “Yeah. Alright.”

 

“You feelin’ okay?” Mickey said, showing his worry by placing his hand on Ian’ arm as they sat at the table.

 

Ian looked at him with a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. What time we going to the clinic?”

 

“3. Told Kev I’d come straight to the bar after. Wanna come?” Mickey asked, trying not to show that he really wanted Ian to come with him to the bar tonight.

 

“Sure, if that’s what you want,” Ian said smiling, telling Mickey that he wasn’t going to put pressure on Mickey to start being ‘out’ with him.

 

“Of course,” Mickey said, taking his hand off Ian when Carl made a disgusted noise before pulling on his jacket and heading out the front door. Debbie just smiled and left behind her little brother.

 

~*~

 

Fiona sat down, staring at the thick glass in front of her. She remembered when she was on the other side of this glass. It was not a great feeling. She felt scared and lost. But she refused to let her insecurities show. She wasn’t here in a blue jumpsuit. She was here on a mission that will help ensure the safety of her family. When she saw the policeman lead Terry Milkovich into the room, she sat up straight and donned on a look of determination.

 

Terry looked at her in confusion and curiosity as he sat down and picked up the receiver. Fiona did the same.

 

“The fuck you want? Thought you were Mandy,” Terry said gruffly into the phone.

 

“Your daughter that you knocked up? Yeah, you’d like it if it were her,” Fiona said, showing her absolute disgust for the so-called man in front of her.

 

Terry’s look of shock was priceless in Fiona’s opinion. “The fuck you just say?”

 

“You heard me. Now you’re gonna listen to me and listen good. You ever, _ever_ , come near my family again, I’ll make sure you never get out of here,” Fiona said in a defiant tone that she was very proud of. Her confidence was growing by the second looking at this man who she hated with every fiber of her being for bringing so much grief to those she loved.

 

“I ain’t done nothin’ to your fucking family,” Terry said, trying to look threatening and maybe Fiona would have faltered if she weren’t so filled with disgust.

 

“Yeah? Lemme think. You beat my brother up for fucking your son last year. Remember that? You threatened him with a gun and then had some whore _rape_ your son. How can you sit there and try to justify any of that. But it wasn’t enough, no. You made Mickey marry her just to prove he wasn’t gay. Guess what, Terry? You can’t change that. You can’t make Mickey be something he’s not. And when you heard he wasn’t acting straight in your absence, you call a hit _on your own son_. How can you look at yourself in the mirror?” Fiona asked, her voice getting stronger and stronger.

 

“You fucking know shit about me or my family, cunt,” Terry growled.

 

Fiona scoffed. “You don’t scare me, Terry. If anything, you just amuse me now. But if you ever come near my family again, the threat still remains. Mandy still has proof about the abortion and we have proof of what you did to Mickey. Enough is enough. Stay away from them.”

 

“The fuck you care for? If you cared about your fucking brother, you’d make sure he wasn’t a fucking faggot, too,” Terry said, eyebrows furrowing in growing rage.

 

“Ian is just fine the way he is and he loves your son. Mickey loves Ian, too. That makes him family and you do not want to mess with my family anymore than you already have. Come near him again and I will personally make sure you not only never get out of here but also put you six feet under. That’s a promise I will keep.”

 

“Fuck you, bitch. I don’t have to listen to this,” Terry said.

 

“Then why you still holding the phone? I have never been afraid of you and I’m not about to start. The more you fight, the stronger Mickey and Ian get. Don’t you realize that? If you ever get out, you don’t have a home to go back to. Svetlana has expressed her personal interest in making sure you never come back. You have fucked up their lives enough, especially your own kids. Leave them be and we will leave you be,” Fiona said, looking Terry right in the eyes, showing her confidence and lack of fear.

 

“We’re done here. Hope you rot fast,” Fiona finished with a smile before hanging up the phone and standing up to leave. Terry continued to sit and she looked at him, shaking her head before leaving.

 

Fiona would make it her dying breath to ensure Terry never tried to do anything more than he’s already done. Mandy and Mickey deserve better than that. Anyone did. But enough is enough. Fiona was willing to claim the younger Milkovich’s as family because they really were. Even Mandy; although no one knew it yet. Mandy and Lip, in Fiona’s opinion, were meant to be together. And they would be as soon as they stopped being shitheads.

 

~*~

 

“I really don’t wanna be here,” Ian said, his leg bouncing uncontrollably as he and Mickey sit in the waiting room next to each other. Ian didn’t even know he was doing it until Mickey had put his hand on Ian’s leg.

 

“I know, man. But you wanna keep getting outta bed in the morning so you gotta try at least. Plus, you promised me,” Mickey said, looking into Ian’s eyes.

 

Ian sighed. “I know. I feel fine right now though. I don’t wanna become a fucking zombie because of the meds.”

 

Mickey didn’t really know what to say. It was obvious to him that Ian needed to get help for this. But now Ian was having second thoughts and Mickey didn’t know how to get Ian to see that this was better than the alternative. The last thing that Mickey ever wants to see is Ian not being able to get out of bed like before.

 

“Remember when I was having trouble admitting how I felt about you? You wouldn’t let up until I admitted it when you were taking care of me. This right here is the same damn thing. I’m not letting up on you until you at least try this. The doctor said that you were showing signs of this and it’s better to get started on meds now so we can find what works best for you,” Mickey said. “Just because you feel fine now doesn’t mean you’re gonna feel fine in a couple days or weeks. You didn’t see yourself when you were low. I did. I don’t wanna see you like that again. I was scared, Ian.”

 

Ian only looked at him, his brows furrowed in thought. Mickey didn’t know what else to do other than be supportive of Ian but only if he went on these meds.

 

“I don’t wanna give anything up by getting on these damn meds. I know that these meds can really mess someone up. I probably won’t be doing the shit I wanna do like run in the morning or even fuck you. I don’t wanna just survive day after day, Mick. I wanna fucking live,” Ian said, gaining some attention from the other people in the waiting room.

 

Ian looked around nervously before looking guiltily at Mickey. He didn’t want Mickey to clam up and undo all the progress they had been making. But Mickey wasn’t angry. He didn’t even look at anyone else besides Ian.

 

“If you don’t go on the meds, you might not survive the next time you get low. I lost you too many times and I ain’t gonna let you think you’re okay when you’re not. I want you to be okay. I don’t wanna have to worry about you when you’re low and I have to leave and you’re alone.”

 

“Nobody fucking asked you to,” Ian said, his anger rising.

 

“The fuck, Ian? First you wanna get help and now you’re just looking for any way out of it. What do you want?” Mickey said, his patience running thin.

 

“I want everyone to leave me the fuck alone and let me make my own damn decisions! If I say there’s nothing wrong with me, that I’m not like fucking Monica, then there’s nothing fucking wrong with me,” Ian yelled, the waiting room going dangerously quiet.

 

After a couple of moments, the receptionist said, “Mr. Gallagher? Dr. Woods will see you now.”

 

Ian got up and said to her, “Tell her to go fuck herself.”

 

Then he left the room, slamming the door on his way out. Mickey was frozen to his seat, not being able to comprehend what the fuck just happened.

 

~*~

 

Ian walked. He walked for what seemed like hours before he ended up near the Fairy Tale. It was dark now and he couldn’t shake off this overwhelming anger he had in him. Anger towards Mickey, towards Monica, towards his family and the whole fucking world. But on top of the anger, Ian was so energetic and wake that he felt high on the fucking air. He was about to just turn around when a man, about late thirties, came up to him.

 

“Hey, Curtis. You workin’ tonight?” the man asked. He was blonde with deep brown eyes and Ian found himself drawn to them.

 

“Uh, no, not tonight. Chris, right?” Ian asked.

 

The man nodded. “I’m glad you remembered. I haven’t seen you here in a while. Everything okay?”

 

Ian shrugged. “Life, ya know? I was just walking around to clear my head and ended up here. You going in?”

 

“Not unless you are. Obviously you ended up here for a reason. Wanna come with me for a while? I’ve missed you,” Chris said, smiling wide and genuine.

 

_Mickey._ Ian quickly pushed that thought away and nodded to Chris, giving him a sexy smirk. “Sure thing, Chris. Got nothing else planned.”

 

“Good. My car’s in the lot two blocks away. Let’s go,” Chris said, putting his arm around Ian’s waist and leading Ian down the street.

 

Mickey didn’t want what was best for Ian, he thought. Mickey only wanted what was easier for him to deal with. Well, now Ian could be someone else’s ‘problem’ for a while. Chris was a nice guy and with all the overwhelming emotions Ian felt right now, he could fuck them out with Chris writhing underneath him.

 

Fuck all of them for trying to turn Ian into something he wasn’t.

 

~*~

 

“What do you mean he just left?” Fiona asked incredulously. It was nighttime and the Gallagher clan plus Mandy were in the living room with Mickey, who was starting to break.

 

“He just fucking left. He yelled about not wanting to go on meds because he feels fine now and just left. I’ve been looking for him everywhere. I can’t find him,” Mickey said, running his hands through his hair and over his face. “I went up to the bar he works at and they said they haven’t seen him. I went to our building, nothing. My house, here, the Alibi, the park, even fucking Ned, every fancy fucking hotel in this goddamn city and I still can’t fucking find him!” Mickey yelled, trying to keep calm and not break down like he wanted to. But he couldn’t stop the tears from running down his face. He felt like he’s lost Ian all over again; something he had tried so hard to not do again since he brought Ian home.

 

“If Ian doesn’t want to be found, he’ll stay away until he’s ready to come back. I’ll go try some places he might have gone if he was down,” Lip said, standing and putting on his jacket, leaving without another word but pausing at Mickey to just pat his shoulder twice.

 

Everyone seemed to have their own look of shock at Mickey but the worry for their brother overpassed it. Mandy got up and put her arm on Mickey who just shrugged away from her and wiped his eyes. But Mandy wouldn’t have it. She pulled him to her and held him tight even as he struggled to break free from her. She made Mickey burrow his face in her shoulder and when she felt his arms tighten around her and his body start to shake, she just held him tighter.

 

“It’s gonna be okay, Mick. Ian’s gonna be okay. Just give him some time. He’ll come back,” Mandy whispered to her brother who was trying breathe regularly. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this but he couldn’t stop himself. Ian was everything to him and he’d go to the ends of the fucking earth over and over again just to see Ian’s face again.

 

“Why didn’t you just follow him when he left? You could have stopped him,” Carl said, not understanding why Mickey didn’t stop Ian from leaving in the first place.

 

Fiona intervened. “Carl, anything anyone would have said to Ian if he was that worked up wouldn’t have gotten through to him. He would have just gone off and done anything to be left alone. Monica did that all the time when I was growing up. But she left for months at a time. We won’t let that happen to Ian. We’ll go look for him in the morning if he hasn’t shown up,” Fiona said, trying to comfort everyone but especially Mickey. She had never thought she would ever see Mickey so broken. It broke her heart even more that Ian was turning out to be just like Monica. “It’s hard to get through someone whose emotions are so strong. I remember begging Monica not to go but she would just ignore me. They can’t care when their emotions are so unbalanced. They can’t see straight.”

 

“I’m not gonna let him do that,” Mickey whispered loud enough for everyone in the silent room to hear. They looked at him but his back was to them, still gripping Mandy like she was his lifeline. “I’m not gonna let him leave me like his goddamn mother left him.”

 

“Shh, it’s gonna be okay, Mick. He’ll come back,” Mandy said, rubbing her brother’s back in attempt at soothing her heart broken brother.

 

“Mickey,” Debbie said, softly, coming up to him and Mandy before putting her hand on his back. “Ian loved you. He loves us, too. He’ll get over what he’s feeling and then come back feeling like the idiot he is. We just have to be patient.”

 

“Why would he fucking leave me again? After everything?” Mickey whispered, looking at Debbie from Mandy’s shoulder with such sadness.

 

“We’re the ones that get hurt with diseases like this. We suffer just as much as Ian because we can see things he can’t see in himself. He didn’t leave you because he doesn’t love you anymore. He just can’t handle all the feelings he has in his head right now. That’s why he needs medication so he can be balanced out. I don’t know what we’re gonna do when he gets back but we have to try everything we can. Remind him of how he felt every time Monica did this. Maybe it’ll wake him up,” Debbie said, not bothering to keep her tears from falling.

 

Mandy continued to hold Mickey in the hopes that he would be okay but she knew he wouldn’t be until Ian was back home alive and safe.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hate me? Hahaha I was breaking my own heart writing this! By the way, the part with Fiona and Terry was one of the first things I had written after posting chapter two. It was important to me to show many Gallagher family feels and I have been lacking in that recently. Then I had to blow everything up to shit because this is fucking SHAMELESS and I love it! Thank you!!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the feedback; the good and bad. I'd prefer constructive criticism over bad feedback but I've found that that is too much to ask for. Enjoy!

Ian walked behind Chris into the apartment Chris owned in North Lawndale. It was a spacious home that was probably the size of the Gallagher house. Ian was antsy to take out his aggression towards everything on Chris’ pliant body. He’d had sex with Chris countless times before he came back home. As soon as they were through the door of the apartment, Ian roughly pushed Chris against the door and crushed his lips to Chris’. Chris moaned into the kiss which only made Ian’s blood boil in anger. If he couldn’t derive some satisfaction from this life, why should anyone else be allowed to? He didn’t want Chris moaning. He wanted Chris crying if anything.

 

Ian led Chris into Chris’ bedroom, knowing the floor plan from being here so many times before. Chris was one of his favorites. But Ian wasn’t here to satisfy a need. He was here to let out all the anger and frustration he felt. Upon entering the bedroom, Ian shoved Chris onto the bed and shed his own pants before climbing on top of Chris, his legs on either side of Chris’ head and crotch in his face.

 

“Suck me,” Ian demanded, his tone rough. Chris, unaware of Ian’s internal rage, gave him a wicked smile before complying. Ian ran his hand through Chris’ hair before wrapping around his hair to fuck his mouth.

 

Ian reached around him and undid Chris’ fly before pulling him out and stroking him furiously as Chris continued to let Ian thrust his dick into his mouth and down his throat. Ian pulled Chris’ hair back and got off of him enough so they could both shed the rest of their clothes. Ian pushed Chris to lie on his stomach, getting on him and biting the back of his neck harshly. He dragged his blunt nails down Chris’ body, hearing Chris moan in pleasure. Ian bit him on the shoulder hard before scraping his nails hard enough to draw blood, hearing with satisfaction Chris hiss in pain.

 

Ian began rocking his hips to Chris’ ass while still marking him up. “Get on your fucking hands and knees,” Ian said roughly into Chris’ ear, making Chris shiver in anticipation. He did as he was told and wasn’t all that surprised when Ian stuck two fingers, barely spit-slicked, into Chris’ hole but it still hurt like hell. He called out and that made Ian smile ruefully. This is what he needed. He continued his assault on Chris’ poor body until Chris was stretched enough that he wouldn’t tear Chris’ asshole but not as stretched as it could be for a more comfortable fuck.

 

Just as Ian was about to push into Chris, Ian had looked towards the huge window to his right and stilled, barely breathing. He could have sworn he saw Mickey sitting on the windowsill just staring at him with a blank expression. Ian blinked and shook his head before looking back and seeing nothing but the window. Ian was brought back to the present as Chris pushed his own hips back to make contact with Ian’s body and whining because of the lack of movement.

 

“I can’t do this,” Ian whispered, horrified at himself for what he was about to do. He got off the bed and started to frantically look for his clothes. Chris got up from his hands and knees to stare at Ian in confusion.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong, baby? I thought we were having a good time,” he said, watching Ian pull his clothes on hurriedly.

 

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this to him,” Ian said, tears in his eyes as he pulled his shoes on. Chris’ eyes widened in understanding. Ian had met someone. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

 

And then it hit him. Ian stopped in his tracks and stared into nothingness. There was something wrong with him. He finished getting dressed, knowing he had to get the hell out of here. He left without another word to Chris but gave him a look of apology but Chris waved him off, locking the door behind Ian. Ian ran from the apartment and ran in any direction, letting his feet guide him until he couldn’t go on anymore.

 

~*~

 

Mickey woke up to the sound of his phone going off. He realized that he was in the boy’s room at the Gallagher house in Ian’s bed. He didn’t know how he got there in the first place. Mickey looked at his phone and read that it was 2:30 in the morning. He didn’t feel like he had been asleep for the past two hours with how uneasy he was. He felt as though he only blinked his eyes

 

“What?” he said, his voice hoarse.

 

“Mick?” came the smallest voice Mickey had probably ever heard.

 

Mickey jumped up and was suddenly wide-awake. “Ian?”

 

Some sniffling was made on the receiver before the voice came back. “Yeah. Mick, I’m so sorry,” Ian cried softly into the phone.

 

“Where are you? I’ve been worried sick trying to find you since you stormed out,” Mickey said, moving out of the bed and down the stairs as quietly as possible as to not wake the other occupants in the house.

 

“I did something bad, Mickey. I’m so sorry. I never want to hurt you,” Ian said, ignoring basically everything Mickey had just said.

 

Mickey was pulling on his jacket and heading out the door. “Ian, just tell me where you are and I’ll come get you and we’ll figure this shit out. I promise, man.”

 

Ian let out a sob and it broke Mickey’s heart to hear his other half crying for something Mickey didn’t know. “I fucked up, Mickey. I really fucked up. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

 

“I don’t hate you, Ian. I love you and I want you to be home with me right now. Where are you?”

 

“But you don’t even know what I did! I hate myself so fucking much because I just keep hurting you!” Ian yelled through his tears. His sobs became more prominent.

 

It was scaring the hell out of Mickey. “Ian, I don’t care what you did. I just want you here, okay? I’m outside and I need to know where I’m going. I’m gonna come take you home with me. We can figure everything else later. Please, Ian,” Mickey begged, his voice becoming tight, not knowing what the hell was going on. But he needed to get Ian back here.

 

Some more sniffles were heard before Ian’s voice came back in a whisper. “North Lawndale.”

 

Mickey sighed in relief. “Okay, I’m gonna get on the El. Where am I going in North Lawndale?” Mickey asked already walking toward the train station.

 

“At a truck stop about...5 miles west of the El, I think. I don’t really know. It’s called Allen’s Stop and Go...I’m so sorry,” Ian whispered, his voice cracking at the end as the sobs took hold of him again.

 

“Hey, Ian, it’s okay. We’re gonna be okay once we get you home. I’ll be there soon. Don’t move and don’t leave with anyone, okay? I’m on my way,” Mickey said, almost breaking out into a full sprint as he saw the El in sight.

 

“No, we’re not. You won’t want me if you knew what I’ve done,” Ian cried.

 

Mickey panted as he boarded the El. “Just stay on the phone with me until I get there, man. Ian, I’ll always want you. I did horrible shit to you before you joined the army. Whatever happened, we can get through it. I promise,” Mickey said as he sat down and started fidgeting in his seat. There were only three other occupants and he didn’t really care if they heard him or not.

 

“You say that now but promises are meant to be broken. I promised you to go on medication and look what I did. I don’t deserve you, Mickey,” Ian whispered into the receiver.

 

“Ian Gallagher, seriously? You think that everything we’ve been through has been for nothing? If anything, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. You’ve always been upfront with me and I pushed you away. Nothing you can do will make me walk away from you. I’m done losing you to stupid shit that happens every day to everyone else. You hear me? I love you and I’m not letting go,” Mickey said, his voice breaking as tears fell from his eyes.

 

“I love you, too, Mick. That’s why I don’t deserve you. How can I love you but still hurt you?” Ian asked in despair.

 

“Because you’re scared. You don’t wanna face the truth. I would know. I spent two years fighting you but I still loved you. I just didn’t know how to show it because I was scared of everything. Whatever happened, I forgive you,” Mickey whispered into the phone, trying to hold back his own sobs.

 

“How could you ever forgive me for what I’ve done?”

 

“Because I love you. I love you so fucking much.”

 

~*~

 

Ian had hung up when Mickey said he could see the truck stop. It was abrupt and scared the hell out of Mickey. He sprinted to his destination, hoping Ian didn’t get scared and run off again. He entered the truck stop and searched frantically until a worker asked him if he was Mickey.

 

He told Mickey that Ian was in the backroom because he was scaring customers but didn’t have the heart to throw him out when he looked so upset. He, his nametag said Adam, led Mickey to Ian and Mickey’s whole body seemed to relax as he set his eyes on the redhead curled up on a plastic chair in the corner.

 

Mickey walked up to Ian and put his hand gently on Ian’s arm. Ian jumped and looked startled at Mickey.

 

“Hey, man. You okay?” Mickey asked gently.

 

Ian, whose eyes were bloodshot, nodded but did little more than open his mouth to breathe. Mickey turned to Adam and thanked him as he helped Ian up and led him back out the store.

 

As the chilly night air swept across their faces, Mickey never let go of Ian’s arm. Mickey stopped him as they made some distance from the store and turned Ian to face him. Ian had silent tears running down his face and it broke Mickey’s heart. Mickey took Ian’s face in his hands and wiped the tears away.

 

“Hey, come on. It’s okay,” Mickey said gently. Ian started to shake his head but Mickey’s hands stopped him. He brought Ian’s face down to his and kissed his lips softly. Mickey felt more tears fall down Ian’s face but they could have easily been his own.

 

When he pulled away to look at Ian, he looked him in the eye and tried to smile a little.

 

Ian shook his head again. “I cheated on you.”

 

Ian’s voice was just as small as when Mickey answered the phone. Mickey’s face dropped. “Did you fuck him?”

 

“No but I did other things. I wanted to fuck him but I couldn’t. I’m so sorry,” Ian said, tears escaping his eyes again.

 

 Mickey really wanted to be angry and tell Ian to fuck off but he just pulled Ian into his arms. Ian was confused and it irked him. How could Mickey hug him or even be in his presence after Ian telling him that he had slept with someone else?

 

“No, Mickey. You don’t get it,” Ian pulled away and looked Mickey in the eyes with tears leaking from his wide eyes. “I cheated on you.”

 

“I heard you the first time. I’m not happy about it but I’m just glad you’re okay. I searched everywhere for you. I even tracked down that geriatric viagroid Ned to see if you’d gone there. I forgive you, Ian. If you were you, you wouldn’t have done it. But you’re not you right now, are you?” It wasn’t really a question but he saw Ian wince before nodding his head slightly as he looked down at the pavement. “And we didn’t really tell each other we were exclusive or anything, Ian. Yeah, it probably just should have been assumed since we love each other but some people need to be told so they don’t fuck up.”

 

“What’re you gonna do now?” Ian whispered.

 

“Well, I’m gonna take you home and we are going back to the clinic first thing in the morning. If you really what this shit to work between us, you need to try to get better. You can’t just leave like that, Ian. It kills me because I don’t know what you’re gonna do when you’re not thinking like you,” Mickey said, kissing Ian’s lips again but lingered because goddammit he was fucking relieved. Mickey could handle Ian cheating on him. Mickey could handle anything else Ian threw at him but he refused to deal with Ian ever leaving him again.

 

“You shouldn’t want me. I’m disgusting and damaged goods,” Ian mumbled.

 

Mickey gave a short laugh. “Really? _You’re_ the one who’s damaged goods? Disgusting? After everything I put you through, being in the closet, keeping you only at arms length, fucking Angie Zago, marrying Svetlana just to appease my dad, you think I’m gonna walk away because you’re brain is different from other people’s and it makes you do stupid shit? At least you can blame what you did on a disease. I have no excuse other than I’m a fucking coward,” Mickey told him, rubbing his hand up and down Ian’s forearm.

 

“You’re not a coward, Mick,” Ian said.

 

“And you’re not damaged goods. You just don’t have control over your emotions right now. But meds will help you do that. Once you get on the right ones, they won’t stop you from doing the things you love like running every morning. Or even fucking. Stop worrying about that because you don’t wanna be like your mother, right?”

 

“I’m not Monica,” Ian said with determination instead of anger.

 

“You acted like her today, though. You ran away. You used to fight so goddamn hard for everything you’ve ever wanted. The Ian I knew didn’t give up this easy. And he’s still in there. He just needs to come out of the proverbial closet and beat this thing. This disease doesn’t have to define you. It only will if you let it,” Mickey told him, making Ian meet his eyes by softly taking his head into his hands.

 

“I know,” Ian whispered, closing his eyes and leaning into Mickey’s touch. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Prove it,” Mickey said taking a step back. “Get on the meds. Go back to school because you’re better than a GED. Go back to the Kash and Grab and quit the stripping. Stop pitying yourself just because you got the short straw in the hereditary haystack. You need to help yourself before anyone. We can’t help you until you decide what you want to do.”

 

Ian looked at Mickey, who had put a couple feet between them. “I don’t wanna hurt you anymore. You deserve better than this. I’m fucked up.”

 

“Don’t say shit like that about yourself,” Mickey said, raising his voice because Ian wasn’t fucked up. “If you really don’t wanna hurt me anymore, then do those things and get your life back on track. I’ll wait for you because I didn’t go through any of this shit just to say ‘oh, you’re crazy now so fuck you, bye.’ I went through it because I love you and guess what? I’d do this a thousand more times if I still get you in the end. You’re not fucked up. There’s nothing so wrong with you that I wouldn’t still want you. You just need some help.”

 

Mickey moved back into Ian’s space and put his hands on Ian’s face. “You need to focus on getting better for you. Not anyone else. I want everything to be okay with us. I love you, Ian. I’m not gonna leave because of this. You gotta believe me. I’m not gonna leave you and I’m not gonna let you leave, either.”

 

Ian sniffled and nodded at Mickey before closing his eyes tight as more sobs wracked his body. Mickey folded Ian into his arms before they both fell to their knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's called Fan Fiction for a reason :) I'm happy with it and so I shall remain :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being so late and for being so short. Another pet death (this one completely unexpected) and shit going on with school. Please be patient with me.

Ian and Mickey were outside the clinic right at opening time. Ian was looking at it like a man on death row would look at the lethal injection pump. Mickey waited patiently beside Ian as Ian stared.

 

“I don’t want to do this,” Ian said.

 

Mickey’s shoulders dropped. “You wanna get better?”

 

“Yeah, but not like this,” Ian said. He looked at Mickey who was wearing his angry and confused scowl. Before Mickey could say anything else, Ian continued. “I think I should go to a hospital. Get medication in a controlled environment until I find the right one.”

 

Mickey looked at Ian in complete shock, his eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline. “Like a fucking asylum?”

 

Ian actually chuckled at that. “No, Mick. There are specific hospitals that help with this kind of thing. I can voluntarily commit myself and they’ll evaluate me to make sure I have the disease and then put me on medication that they mediate. It’s the quickest and safest way to make sure what medication combination works best for me. Monica kept herself in one after she tried to commit suicide on Thanksgiving before Frank broke her out.”

 

“How long would you be in there?” Mickey asked, trying to keep the fear out of his voice.

 

“A month? Maybe more. You’d still be able to come visit me. It’s kind of like when I would visit you in juvie only it’s not a glass window in most cases. I really think this is the best option for me, Mick.”

 

Ian looked pleadingly at Mickey, gauging his reaction. Mickey sighed, worried his lip and running his hand through hid hair. “You really wanna do this?”

 

“Yes, Mick,” Ian said, looking into Mickey’s eyes. “I got enough money saved up that I should be able to commit myself to a full month. I just hope that’s enough time.”

 

“Hey,” Mickey said, looking at Ian with his hand on Ian’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about how much it’ll cost. You stay there as long as you need to. I’ll take care of it if it’ll make you better, okay?”

 

Ian smiled and went to hug Mickey but remembered where they were and stopped himself. Mickey saw him though and did a quick look around before leaning up to kiss Ian on the lips. He pulled away and looked into Ian’s shocked, wide eyes. “You know where we’re going or do we gotta search for one?”

 

Ian smiled wide, still stuck on Mickey’s public kiss. “You just kissed me.”

 

“Don’t make a big deal about it,” Mickey said, rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb and looking around.

 

“It is a big deal, Mick. At least to me,” Ian whispered, his smile still as wide that Mickey was surprised his face didn’t crack in half.

 

Mickey just smirked. “I know,” he whispered, leaning into Ian’s space and wrapping his arms around him. Ian did the same and they held each other for what seemed like forever until it was time to take Ian to the hospital.

 

~*~

 

When Mickey entered the Gallagher house, the Gallagher clan plus the Balls entered the living room looking expectantly at Mickey.

 

“Where’s Ian?” Fiona asked worriedly.

 

“At a hospital,” Mickey answered, looking as tired as he sure felt.

 

“What do you mean a fucking hospital? Is he okay?” Lip asked, clearly worried and angry.

 

Mickey sighed as he sat next to Debbie on the couch. “Hopefully now he will be. He committed himself for evaluation and medication in a controlled environment for his and everyone’s safety. I just came back from there. He’s settled in and can start having visitors in about a week or so. That’s what the doctor told us,” Mickey said, leaning back on the couch with his eyes closed, an elbow on the couch while the adjoining hand rested itself on Debbie’s back.

 

The Gallaghers were shocked silent. After yesterday, they really thought that Ian was going to fight hard like Monica did whenever someone would bring up her bipolar disorder.

 

“How’s he affording this?” Fiona asked, sitting on the table across from Mickey.

 

Mickey opened his eyes but didn’t move an inch. “He’s got some money saved up from stripping that should get him through three weeks of treatment and I’ll cover whatever else for how long he wants to stay there. He’s the one that wanted to go instead of having everyone watch him and treating him like glass. The people there at least will be able to help him more than we can,” Mickey told her, starting to grow heavy with the need to sleep.

 

“You wanna stay here, tonight? You can sleep in Ian’s bed again,” Debbie asked softly, looking at him.

 

Mickey turned his gaze to her and just nodded.

 

“Hey, man, before I forget. Svetlana said to just come by whenever you can. And here’s this weeks pay from upstairs,” Kev said, handing him an envelope.

 

Mickey took it, saluting Kev with it as he lay back down against the couch. He shut his eyes, thinking back to earlier that day when Ian led him to the “psych ward” as Mickey called it with disdain.

 

_“Mick, it’s not for crazy people. It’s not like ‘oh, you’re fucking nuts so we’re gonna keep you hear, feed you pills three times a day and hope you don’t kill your opponent in a chess match.’ It’s for people who need to get help. This is not a forever kind of place. It’s only temporary. I’ll be back before you know it and you can come see me when we are allowed visitors,” Ian said, putting his hand on Mickey’s back._

_“You say that now. But what if they try to keep you here?” Mickey asked, looking up at the building with disdain._

_Ian laughed. “It’s voluntary commitment. They can’t keep me here longer than I signed in for. They’d have to let me go as long as I wasn’t a danger to myself or society. Even if I was, they would have to do it all legal; call the authorities and transfer me to an actual ‘psych ward.’ Nothing is going to happen as long as I am responsive to the help they’re offering me.”_

_Mickey didn’t look convinced. Ian stood in front of Mickey and put his hands on Mickey’s shoulders. “Mickey, I’ll be home with you, completely balanced and myself again. Isn’t that worth a month or so of us sleeping in different places? You can call me everyday or visit everyday if you want. It’s only for a little while.”_

_Ian was looking directly into Mickey’s eyes and waited until Mickey sighed and looked away, swiping at his bottom lip with his thumb and just nodded. Ian smiled and they walked in. They got him settled, did a walk through with the head doctor (Dr. Morris) with Mickey asking all sorts of random, over-protective boyfriend questions and the nurse (Donna) let Ian and Mickey have a moment before Mickey would have to leave._

_“I don’t wanna leave you here alone,” Mickey admitted when they were alone._

_“I’m not alone. Everyone seemed really nice. Dr. Morris said that I probably wouldn’t need a month to get balanced. We’ll just play it by ear. I just want some time to get really settled before I start getting visitors. Just a couple days. I want you to call, though,” Ian said, trying to look at Mickey sternly but he couldn’t help the smile on his face._

_“Whatever, Firecrotch. I just don’t like this. I feel like I just got you back and you’re already leaving again,” Mickey sighed._

_Ian moved closer to Mickey and hugged him tight. “At least this time, we know I’m coming back. You’re not losing me. I’m doing this so that I don’t just run off again. I love you and because I love you, I wanna be with you as me.”_

_Mickey pulled Ian’s face down to his and kissed him softly on the lips. Pulling away so their lips were barely touching, Mickey said, “love you, too.”_

Mickey woke up in Ian’s bed, not knowing exactly how he got there but looked at the clock on the dresser. 4:56 AM.

 

“29 more days to do, Firecrotch,” he whispered into the still air. He wrapped himself into Ian’s blankets tighter so that he didn’t feel like Ian wasn’t there to plaster himself against Mickey.

 

~*~

 

Mickey got up around 7 and saw Carl watching him curiously.

 

Groaning, Mickey huffed out, “the fuck you want?”

 

“You really love my brother?”

 

Mickey looked at him with furrowed eyebrows before sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, I do. So what?”

 

“Nothin’. Just wanted to know. You act like you do but so has everyone else who didn’t stay,” Carl said.

 

“Well, I ain’t leavin’ Ian any time soon. You Gallaghers are stuck with this Milkovich,” Mickey said, standing up and going over to Liam’s bed, the toddler holding his hands out to be picked up.

 

Mickey took Liam downstairs without another word to Carl. He wasn’t mad at Carl. There just wasn’t anything more to say about it. He loved Ian. He wasn’t leaving. End of fucking story.

 

Fiona was in the kitchen getting breakfast together when Mickey walked down with Liam.

“I was just about to come up and get you, little man!” Fiona said in her annoying but endearing baby voice as she came up and tickled Liam’s stomach. “What are you doin’ today, Mickey?”

 

Mickey put Liam in his highchair. “Probably go up to the bar. Keep myself busy and try to call Ian only once today.”

 

Fiona just smiled small before responding. “Would it be too much trouble for you to take Liam today? Lip left without him because I was supposed to be off today but they called and asked me to come in for a few hours or so.”

 

“Sure, I guess. He’ll be at the bar with me if you’re not back by 1ish,” Mickey said, raising his eyebrows, waiting for her to say never mind.

 

Fiona smiled. “Thanks so much, Mickey.”

 

After breakfast, Mickey and Liam were alone in the Gallagher home. They were sitting at the coffee table in the living room drawing.

 

“I’m worried about Ian,” Mickey whispered, not looking up from what he was drawing. Liam didn’t seem to mind so Mickey continued. “I don’t know who this Ian is and it scares me because what if he can’t get better? What if he leaves again and I’m just left here alone again? I don’t think I’d be able to deal with that shit all over again. He wouldn’t come back this time. Hell, he didn’t even really come back this time. I had to drag his pale ass back to the Southside cuz he was getting all sorts of fucked up. He needed to be here for you, dude,” Mickey said, ruffling Liam’s wild hair, making Liam laugh.

 

Liam had no idea what he was saying but it felt good to talk to someone who can call him stupid. Sometimes Mickey just needed to talk without any feedback. If he kept it in for too long, he would combust.

 

“There ain’t nothing wrong with you and there ain’t nothing wrong with Ian. You guys just got a shitty hand dealt but you’re made out of really tough shit. I love your brother very much and I don’t wanna lose him.”

 

“Then don’t,” Liam said, continuing with his coloring like he hadn’t said anything.

 

Mickey stared openmouthed at the youngest Gallagher. He didn’t know what to say because Liam didn’t talk often but it was like he completely understood everything Mickey had just told him.

 

Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as he thought.

 

His mind drifted to Yevgeny.


End file.
